Monday, July 27, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
I am not going to recap the film. It is about a haunting in Connecticut. Duh. But here is a list of things I likes (left typo in because I like it) about the film, and if you like these things too, then check it out.
- Scary Ghosts
- Post-mortem photography
- Good ghost/bad ghost switcheroo
- Corpses in walls
- Old-timey poems and songs
- Virginia Madsen
- Totally ridiculous ending
- "Based" on a true story
- Awesome DVD extras
- Kids stupid enough to play hide and seek, repeatedly, in a haunted house
- The Borderland (in the valley of the shadow of death)
- No Head Trauma
- Attacking Shower curtains
Friday, July 24, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Irish McCalla stars as "Jerrie," a rich spoiled brat whose Father owns the boat that was destroyed in the (stock footage) hurricane. Tod Griffin plays "Fred," who was also on the boat and although I am not sure what the hell he does, he was somehow working for Jerrie's Father. The final part of this scooby gang is "Sammy," played by Victor Sen Yung, whose only purpose is to provide uncomfortable, semi-racist,unfunny un-comic relief. These three idiots manage to get themselves chased by She-Demons, captured and whipped by Nazis and almost blown to bits. All in the course of one day. Why are there She-Demons you might ask? The Nazis are doing terrible experiments of course! The head Nazi, known as "The Butcher" (I forget his name but it is probably Fritz) is trying to repair his burned wife's face by tranferring DNA to her from captured Jungle Girls. The process turns the Jungle Girls into She-Demons! There is also some nonsense about perpetual motion and renewable energy (who knew Nazis were environmentalists?)
This movie is about as "B" as they come and a whole lot of fun. There is even a good shock scare at the end. My favorite part is how "Jerries" hair looks perfect throughout the whole film, even when she is trying to outrun lava. Yes, there is lava too.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
This monster haunts our fevered dreams and is born out of our darkest desires. He is a character in Charles Dickens last, unfinished work and a spectre that stalks Dickens friend, collaborator, and rival Wilkie Collins. Collins, the writer of "The Woman and White" and "Moonstone" was, for a time, Dickens' protegee. He was also an Opium addict (taken in the form of Laudanum, which my dear Lizzie Siddal overdosed on during the same time period in which these events take place) prone to hallucinations. These are the facts, and what Simmons does is takes these facts and imagines a dark, sinister force at work in the lives of these two men. He does this so well that you can imagine these events really taking place.
[Rec] is a faux documentary about a reporter and her cameraman who follow around a group of firefighters for the evening. A call comes from an apartment building in Barcelona about an ill woman, and the crew goes to investigate. Once inside the building they discover the situation is much worse than they imagined, and escape is impossible. The authorities have blockaded the building due to an unspecified viral threat (calling Dr. Mike.) The fit hits the shan when the neighbors start eating each other.
All of this is seen through the viewpoint of one camera, held by the unseen cameraman Pablo. The reporter named Angela is our guide and final girl. Watching this film is like taking a ride in a Haunted House attraction. Everything is dark, you don't know where you are, there are scary sounds around you, and something is just around that corner waiting to jump out and scare the shit out of you. I loved it of course!
Some people won't like this film because of the shaky camerawork. There are the same people that didn't like "Blair Witch" for the same reason. I say take some Dramamine and watch it! Do you get sick in the car too? (This outburst brought to you by my third cup of coffee.)
I wish I had seen this film with no idea of what was going to happen. It would have knocked the socks of me. Unfortunately, I saw the American re-make, "Quarantine," first. The re-make is actually pretty good. I own it. The original is better. I can't explain it, since the re-make is almost shot for shot. The scares in [Rec] are just...scarier.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Well, things just go downhill from there. This tropical paradise turns into a Zombie buffet special. Above is one of the most famous scenes from this film, the old wood splinter in the eyeball trick, done by a Zombie (as if eating a person wasn't enough, they have to blind them first!) This scene was really more silly than gory. The best scene, and what this film is rightly remembered for, is the Zombie vs. Shark scene. I had heard about this for years (there are bands and blogs named after this epic battle.) And although I highly recommend this film, if you want don't want to sacrifice 2 hours of your life, just watch the video below. The best part about it is the music, if you ask me....
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
If you are looking to avoid doing housework, as I am, may I suggest spending some time over at "Trailers from Hell" (see sidebar for link.) In particular, check out commentiares from Edgar Wright, Eli Roth, and John Landis. As a trailer junkie myself (obviously) I could and have wasted many hours at this site.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
3. The screenwriter(s) (do your IMDB research lazy) had this odd habit of having every character repeat themselves. Example:
Destroy the Mattress!
Destroy the Mattress!
Jesus Christ, fucking weird!
Jesus Christ, fucking weird!
It's just lazy (who is calling the kettle black?) I almost named the blog I created for my parents "Jesus Christ, fucking weird" because I liked how it sounded (twice) in this film so much. To wrap it up: This film is a little too gory for me, it is part of the reason I am so weird, and I like the concept of Demon fairy tales. This is not such a good one, but if anyone can write em, Clive Barker can. Check out his most recent Demon fairy tale "Midnight Meat Train" to see what I mean.
Yeah. The least interesting guy from "Gossip Girl" and the boring guy from "Nip/Tuck" made a movie together. This looks awful on "Transformer" type levels (meaning I am sure I will see the trailer at least 30 times in front of various films and on TV before it comes out, and each time it will look worse, yet it will somehow make 100 Million Dollars.) The original film wasn't that good but at least it had Locke from "Lost" in it. The most interesting character from a good show.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
This animated short was created by a guy named Michael Dougherty (obviously) way back in 1996 (where the hell was I then?) On the basis of this he was offered a movie deal, and directed the yet to be released Halloween anthology "Trick r Treat." This film has been sitting on the shelf for 2 years, but rumor has it that the release date is pending. Hope so. Trailer to come later. By the way, all of this info came to me via "HorrorHound" magazine. The first time I picked up this mag I didn't care for it too much (it was pretty much about collectibles and although I would love to have my home filled with horror shit, I can't afford it.) Now it is a nice mix of collectibles, horror news, film and DVD reviews, and other assorted nasty stuff. And its tag line is "A Fright-filled MaGOREzine for all Boils and Ghouls!" Really, how could I pass it up?
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
'No Values Voters' Looking To Support Most Evil Candidate
Yes, I know this is very old, but it is still funny. Since getting promoted (I was promoted at my job by the way) I feel like doing even less on my days off. So after waking up at 10, I watched the MJ memorial, ate a bowl of chips, and since then I have been watching Onion clips all day. And no, I don't smoke weed. This is my favorite.
He is going to catch something indeed.
Monday, July 6, 2009
This is an older teaser for this film, but it is better than the full length trailer out now. After Zombie apocalypses and haunted house films, trapped in space films are probably my favorite sub-genre. What would be awesome is a haunted space ship infested by zombies. Where is that movie?
Sunday, July 5, 2009
This blog has 90% less gore and 50% more cat pictures. The zombie quotient will be about the same.
Last trailer today, I promise. I am a big fan of French horror, so I am looking forward to this French Zombie flick. Looks fast-paced and gory. And I doubt it will send me into a psychological and emotional tailspin ala "Martyrs." But I bet it gives me nightmares! Alright! I can add French zombies to my list of phobias.
Another film directed by a woman, in this case Jennifer Lynch, daughter of David, director of "Boxing Helena" which was TERRIBLE. This looks interesting. It looks like a remake of "Rashoman" and there is nothing wrong with that. This apparently is available right now on "On Demand," but since I am down to my last 3 bucks till payday I might just wait.