Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy New Year!!

We are off to the city tonight to see George Clinton and Parliment Funkadelic. I really hope he wears this outfit. Doesn't he look like Baby New Year?

Sorry the quality of this is so crappy, but the song is sooo good! I hope everyone has a great New Years!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Christmas in Sebastopol...

I am no huge fan of Sebastopol, the town where my parents live, simply because I don't care for the smell of Patchouli and wheat grass. But the town does have its charms, like its public art, which is everywhere and is mostly bad. Driving to my parents on Christmas Eve we spotted this piece of Art on the outskirts of town. We stopped on the way home so we could take pictures.
It is supposed to be an angel but it looks like a) A Zombie (awesome) b) A white girl with dreadlocks and a tiara and c) someone tied to a tree about to get burned at the stake.

My favorite part was the 5-6 dumped, perfectly good Christmas trees around the statue. I don't know if this was part of the installation, an offering, or some drive-by critics thoughts about the piece.

This was also near the angel. It looks like Olivia Newton John in Xanadu.

I don't mean to make fun. Art is Art and good for Angel guy to put it out there. But really, it was kinda creepy. The above picture best represents my feeling about the Sebastopol Angel.

Monday, December 29, 2008

This is why you don't move there...

An affordable house in Connecticut? Ha. Actually, this looks OK. It looks like a fairly realistic ghost story (what?). Spring is traditionally the dumping ground for horror films, and so far this looks to be the best of the bunch.

Friday, December 26, 2008

A very Zombie Christmas.

I am so blessed I received not one, but two zombies for Christmas. Here is a picture of me with both of them. BTW, I am rockin the new Jammies that mom got me.
This is my Zombie friend from Jonathan. I have not named him yet, and I am quite frankly worried about the Orange Menace tearing him apart, not that he would mind.

This is my new Zombie home girl named Shana. I named her Shana in honor of my friend Shoshanah, who hand-crafted her for me. She is beyond awesome and the Orange Menace agrees.
I also received an exclusive "I love Zombies" tote bag sure to be the rage next season. It will be perfect for tote-ing around my horror magazines and books.

My zombie doll has a zombie doll.

As I suspected the Orange Menace has decided that the zombie doll's zombie doll should be his. Maybe he is a ZOMBIE!?!?

I also received this cool candle holder from Howard, a kick ass movie set from my love (featuring Boris and Bela) and the "Zen of Zombie" book from Harold and Carla. Now I must really stop bitching about my zombie nightmares. I may have brought it upon myself. Next up: Creepy Christmas Angel.

Christmas Carnage

We had a wonderful Christmas. It was great to spend the day with Family and Friends and Dogs and Cats. Such as SAM here, my parents bi-polar cat..
And Garfield, the stray cat who wisely adopted my father and now has complete run of the house.
This is Grandma's dog, who despite recently having a stroke is in great shape. I couldn't get her to sit still long enough for a non-fuzzy picture.

My sister and me (or I).

The happy Christmas couple!

My Nephew Tim showing off his new stuff for his apartment. The greatest kid ever!

Frodo looking for something to eat.

The Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.

Jonathan and Howard. Howard was frankly shocked and amused by the Christmas Carnage.

My beautiful niece Valerie, who kept picking up wrapping paper the whole evening. I don't think she sat down once.

Val and my other nephew David. I got him the "Beers of the World" gift set and he really loved it.

See, Valerie is not sitting down.

Our little Christmas miracle, who helped me wrap presents. Thank you to everyone for such a nice Christmas. Coming up next: My Zombie Christmas.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Merry Christmas Everyone!

I am off to the magical land known as my parents house. Hope everyone has a wonderful and safe holiday.

Coming Soon..

This is great! The kids who did this deserve a movie deal. My only question is: Why would Brad Pitt and Hugh Jackman be in a movie with Vin Diesel?

Monday, December 22, 2008

All I want for Christmas, besides to disrupt the space/time continuum and have some Eggnog with Bela and Boris by the Christmas tree, is this DVD....
I only read about it this morning. And wouldn't you know it, Netflix does not have it!! I might have to buy it for next year. I smell a Holiday Tradition in the making! What the hell do He-man and She-ra do at Christmas anyway?

Sunday, December 21, 2008

The Unborn..

OK, this looks worse than "My Bloody Valentine 3D." Wait at frakin minute: Is that Gary Oldman in this piece of shit? Jesus now, Good Night. I have had it.

Watch this turns out to be my favorite film of 2009.

A 3D Ride to Hell

Merry Christmas Everyone. Sometimes when life turns really shitty, a good horror movie can cure all problems, at least for 2 hours. Thats why I love them. This is not a good horror movie, I can guarantee that, but I will pay the 10 bucks just becuase the tag line is so awesome...

Friday, December 19, 2008

Happy Early Christmas

I was actually looking for the old SNL sketch of Frankenstein, Tonto, and Tarzan singing "Silent Night," but I could only find a crappy version on YouTube. This is how I spend my free time. I am all hyped up on fried chicken and pie, leave me alone!!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Fiction for a dreary winter night..

Check out this post by one of my favorite bloggers:
I have never read the book he is talking about, but I do have to go to the bookstore today to pick up a x-mas gift.. Is this really something I want to read during the holidays? It would be a nice counterweight to "The Sound of Music," which I am about to watch. Wish me luck.

Trailer Tuesday!


Thanks to the power of the internets I don't have to see crappy movies anymore (The Day the Earth Stood Still) to see kick ass trailers. I remember seeing some piece of shit movie just to see the trailer for "The Phantom Menace." What a waste of time that was on all counts. Anyway, here is Hugh Jackman with his shirt off. Enjoy.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Yeah! The Sound of Music arrives at my house tomorrow courtesy of Netflix!!!

And then I am going to watch "I Spit on Your Grave!"

The Plague Redux..

Dammit, I am sick with the Plague again. My friend from the Cellar Door has it and I wonder if I caught it through the Internets. Thus far it is not really the plague, more like a minor sore throat, but like a walk alone in the woods on a cold rainy night no good can come from this..But while I am home sick with the plague I can read my awesome new book "The Zen of Zombie" which my friends Harold and Carla got for me. I am halfway there since I feel like a zombie right now anyway.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Christmas Lio

In my ongoing quest to get everyone to read Lio, here is a Christmas greeting from the little man. Check it out at Lio would be the easiest Halloween costume ever. All you would need is some hair gel and a Cephalopod.

In other news, This night I will Possess your Corpse is NOT available from Netflix. The love affair is OVER.

Friday, December 12, 2008

At 12:01 I'll Give it Back..

Thanks to the most kick ass magazine in the whole wide world, Rue Morgue, I was introduced to Coffin Joe. Coffin Joe is a character created and played by Director Jose Mojica Marins in a series of Brazilian horror films. Yeah, I didn't know there was such a thing either. These films are so controversial in Catholic Brazil that they have been banned many times and the Director thrown in jail. Apparently the fact that the main character eats lamb meat on a Friday caused riots.
The first film featuring Coffin Joe is At Midnight I'll take Your Soul, realeased in 1963. It features, amoung other horrors, eating meat on Friday, multiple murders, rape, canary killing, zombies, ghosts, gypsies, suicide, and death by spider. It was pretty fantastic.

And the score would have made Les Baxter proud. It's a jazzy, howling, women screaming kind of deal which is actually kind of creepy. Thanks to the wonderfulness that is Netfix I was able to watch this masterpiece, as I doubt I would have found it at the local Blockbuster. The next film in the series is This Night I will Possess your Corpse which sounds stunning.
By the way, the character of Coffin Joe has become such a legend in Brazil that he is almost like a bogeyman. Parents warn their kids that if they are not good Coffin Joe will come and get them. Take that Freddy Krueger.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Happy Trailer Day!

Oh, the Horror, the Horror of seeing Santa Claus. The most terrifying ritual of Christmas. There is an entire book of these pictures out. I think my parents have a photo of me throwing a fit on Santa's lap somewhere.

To make up for yesterday's SHITTY trailer, here is an actual good one. Well, the teaser looked better, but I am still looking forward to seeing this, because Christian Bale can do no wrong.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I feel so dirty

Yuck, I can't believe I am even posting this trailer. But with so few horror films to look forward to, and the good foriegn ones never being released here, this is whats left. The only saving grace is that the director was behind the "re-imagining" of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which wasn't that bad, and will probably go down as the best Jessica Biel movie ever made.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Charlie Brown Christmas

I had to DVR Gossip Girl last night because a "Charlie Brown Christmas" was on! It ain't Christmas until I am preached to by Linus. Anyway, it's a bit different than I remember it. Check it out.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Top Ten Horror

I meant to do this post ages ago before my life went crazy. It is now almost 2pm, I am still in my jammies, and I haven't eaten breakfast. Those of you who know me know that I NEVER skip breakfast. I just don't have anything to eat in the house and I am to lazy to get dressed. If I could train the Orange Menace to go shopping I would, but I am also too lazy to do that. So anyway, here is my top ten horror films of all time that I worked very hard on for 1/2 an hour two weeks ago. It is in response to every other horror blogger doing a top ten in recent weeks. Of course I don't consider myself a horror blogger, but some of you may know that I sorta like the genre...
  1. The Exorcist 1973: Downright the scariest movie EVER made. Don't believe me? Just try to watch it alone.
  2. Halloween 1978: Not the original slasher film (that would be Psycho) but in my opinion, the best. The scene where Laurie thinks she is safe, but Myers is getting up behind her, is pure terror.
  3. Frankenstein 1931 (James Whale): Ok, its one of my favorite movies, and holds a soft spot in my heart. And it really does have some scary scenes in it. Plus, Karloff kicks ass.
  4. Night of the Living Dead 1968: Probably the one film on this list that had the greatest impact on me. I can't remember when I first saw it (I was probably 5, my parents had no filter) but it continues to effect me to this day: whenever I am stressed out I have Zombie dreams.
  5. The Thing 1982 (Carpenter): Heavily influenced by Lovecraft, I get heart palpitations every time I see this film. My love/hate opinion of Kurt Russell definitely goes towards love on this one.
  6. Dawn of the Dead 1978: I always think of this film as more fun than scary, but after recently re-watching it, I got a few shivers. The Zombie getting his head cut off by the helicopter blades is still the best
  7. Alien 1979: This is not sci-fi. This is straight out horror.
  8. The Blair Witch Project 1999: This film has alot of haters, but for my money the last 5 minutes are some of the scariest ever put on film. When she turns the corner and sees her colleague standing in the corner: scary as hell.
  9. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1974: A few scares, but more important is how relentless it is. There is just no relief in this film, even at the end.
  10. Dracula 1931: A sentimental choice. Not really that scary, but still the best Vampire film ever made.

I had to whittle this down from a list of about 25. A few runners-up: Bride of Frankenstein, Jaws, The Descent, The Mist (2007), The Devil's Backbone, The Ring (it kept me up all night), Nightmare on Elm Street ( a week of sleeping with the lights on), Poltergeist, and Picnic at Hanging Rock (not really a horror film, but it freaked me out good.)

RIP Uncle Forry

I have been so busy I didn't hear about Forrest J Ackerman passing away on Thursday. He was 92 years old and known by many as Uncle Forry. He truly was the original Fanboy.
His magazine, Famous Monsters of Filmland, went a long way in revitalizing the horror genre and introducing monsters to a new generation of fans. I had a subscription to the re-vamped "Famous Monsters" years ago, but of course it wasn't as good as the original. I am glad that Forry had the chance to see the kick ass tribute that Rue Morgue did for him in the last Halloween issue.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Random Miles Davis

I have been MIA because we have been opening the new store, but things have calmed down a little now. Cellar Door sent me this cool picture of my hero Frank. DisplayDude sent me this link to this awesome video by Cameo. I can't post it because it is owned by Universal Music group, but check it out if you get a chance. Look for a strange Miles Davis cameo (get it) at the 1:54 mark.