Friday, September 30, 2011

Check out these blogs!!

I had so much fun participating in the Blogger Zombie Walk 2011!  Please be sure to check out some of the other Blogs listed in my post.  I finally got to check them out and they are all awesome.  Coming soon: A review of The Human Centipede!  Yes, a year after everyone else reviewed it!  It's the Zombies are Magic way!!

Blogger Zombie Walk 2011: Zombies invade the Funnies

Welcome to the 2011 Blogger Zombie Walk!  For my contribution I present: Zombies Invade the Funnies!  Besides horror, and all things horror related (especially Zombies), one of my great loves is the Funny Pages.  I swear the only reason I subscribe to the paper is the Funnies section.  Take that out and  screw you San Jose Mercury News!!  If you read this blog you know my favorite comic is LIO, by Mark Tatulli.  LIO is a monster kid who is actually happy that there are monsters hiding under his bed.  Zombies, my true monster love, show up a lot in LIO.  Surprisingly enough, they show up in a lot of other comics as well.  Zombies, besides being scary, are pretty funny.  Please enjoy this selection of Newspaper funnies featuring Zombies.  Most of these comics can be found at the excellent site

MONTY by Jim Meddick 

LIO by Mark Tatulli

BLISS by Harry Bliss

BIZARRO by Piraro


DILBERT by Scott Adams

Jeff Swenson at

and finally...

Thanks to Zombies and Toys for this one.  Find more comics at

Two great sources for other awesome comics (Zombie and non-Zombie) are Zombie Reporting Center, a pretty excellent site for all things Zombie, and The Comics Curmudgeon.  I recommend The Comics Curmudgeon because I think this guy is as obsessed with Rex Morgan M.D. as I am.  Speaking of Rex, here is a list of comics I would love to see Zombies invade...

  1. Rex Morgan M.D.
  2. The Family Circus
  3. Mary Worth
  4. For Better or for Worse
  5. Luann (kill that bitch!)
  6. Mutts
  7. Prince Valiant
  8. Ziggy (is that still around?)
  9. Blondie
  10. Garfield
Hope you have enjoyed by section of the Blogger Zombie walk.  For more Zombie goodness, check out these Monkey Fighters:">Above the Norm: Bizarre Arizona">Zombies Everywhere">Holly's Horrorland">Little Gothic Horrors">Anything Horror">Katy Bennett Horror Writer and Poet">Bubba's Place">Horror Smorgasbord">Gnostalgia">Monkey Man">Words and Music">Red Shoes Chronicles">The Wolf's Eyes">My Day in a Sentence">Pixie's Horror Galore">Strange State">The Misadventures of HalloweeNut">Halloween Blues">Kweeny Todd">The California Blogging Massacre">Horror Shock Lolipop">Vanessa Morgan">Improbable Frontiers">No Really, You Can Eat It">Art By Living Dead Girl Nicole">Two Gory Chicks">A Dust Bunny in the Wind">A Ghoul's Best Friend">Zombies Are Magic">Cherry Neko Saves the World">Tall Tales">At the Mansion of Madness">The Haunted Rose">The Rotting Zombie">Halloween Overkill">Out of the Shadows">Creepy Glow Keyhole Gallery">Creepy Glowbugg">Bifocal Univision">Haiku-Koo-Koo">Sherry Soule">Anchors and Roses">Paranormal Researchers Group">Whispering Pines History">Lovely Miss Megs">Sean Thomas Fisher's Blogwash">Rise and Fight">Stump Town Horror">LoliClown's Little Blog of Horror">Zombies Can't Love">Books and Beyond">The Grave Bandits">Screaming Goregasms">Lazy Daisy Life">Icky Monster">Pretty in Fiction">Ivy's Closet">Justine's Halloween">Annie Walls">Just Johnny
and last but not least:

If you are not sure what a Monkey Fighter is, check out the edited for television version of Snakes on a Plane.  I say it with love.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

LIO: Best Comic Ever.

Please check out Lio: He is a Monster Kid like us!

Friday, September 23, 2011

Scary works of art by a 4 year old and the horror films they remind me of...

I was fortunate enough to receive some fantastic artwork by the 4 year old daughter of a friend of mine. Her name is Zelma and she is growing up on a farm with chickens and cats and bees. I sent her a t-shirt when she was a baby that says "I Love Zombies." She still wears it to this day. She also talks a lot about ghosts and monsters. I can't help but feel I am having a positive influence on her from 3000 miles away.

Below is some of Zelma's artwork and my take on the horror film it most reminds me of.  Please feel free to chip in with that horror films they remind you of.  (I don't think Zelma has really seen any horror films yet, but wait till she comes to spend the summer with Auntie Jen.)

This is one scary pink haired girl.  This reminds me of Coraline, but I also detect a bit of The Ring and Ju-on here.   She also looks kind of pissed off, so I will also go with Carrie.

 Donnie Darko is the obvious choice here, but may I also suggest The Shining?  You know the scene I am talking about.  This could also be a very dark take on Harvey.  I also see The Blob.

This painting actually has a title.  It is "The Prince in the Castle."  I see A Nightmare on Elm Street.  I also see any horror film where a psycho escapes from an insane asylum (take your pick.)  This also has a bit of a Children of the Corn flavor to it which would make sense since Zelma is growing up on a farm. 

More artwork coming soon, including a piece that reminds me of a Clive Barker short story and Zelma's take on The Human Centipede, with a cow.

Thanks to Zelma's parents for sending me the art!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Contagion 2011

Two things you should know about Contagion, the new film by Steven Soderbergh.  One: it is NOT a horror film, despite what Soderbergh says.  It is more of a soulless, clinical look at what might happen if the Bird Flu went crazy and attacked a bunch of attractive people.  Number Two: Gwyneth Paltrow is in it. A lot.  You might think you are safe because you heard she dies in the beginning, but you are not.  Like a bad penny, she keeps showing up throughout the damn film.  Normally, I would not ever go see a Gwyneth Paltrow film.  Much like my well documented aversion to Mr. Shia LaBeouf, I have a similarly strong dislike of Gwyneth Paltrow.

Contagion stars Paltrow, Matt Damon, and Jude Law.  It is like The Talented Mr. Ripley only 100% less interesting.  Paltrow returns home from a business trip in Hong Kong with a cold.  A couple of days later she dies.  Then her son dies.  Then Matt Damon gets to act really upset about the whole thing.  Also, Paltrow was having an affair, a throw-a-way plot point that goes nowhere, much like the rest of this film.

Soon people are dying across the globe, and the CDC, played by Laurence Fishburne and Kate Winslet, jump into action to try to find a cure.  They are joined by Marion Cotillard as the World Health Organization, Jude Law as crazy bloggers, John Hawkes as the everyman, and a bunch of other famous people trying to look worried and/or sick.  If this sounds like a Towering Inferno type film then you are correct!  Soderbergh said he was going for that kind of vibe with the big name cast.  The only problem is that The Towering Inferno was funny/interesting/suspenseful, whereas Contagion looks like a documentary made by someone strung out on Valium.  It is that boring.

Every character is pretty annoying.  The only slightly interesting one was the crazy blogger played by Jude Law, but I only found him interesting because he wore dentures that made his teeth look really bad and I kept thinking that Jude Law uglies up really well.  The pace is off, we don't care about anyone, I was actually rooting for some people to die, and in the end it is all wrapped up with a neat little bow.  I am surprised Julia Roberts wasn't in this mess.  There are so many good epidemic/end of the world films out there: don't waste your time on this one.  It is not scary, it is not suspenseful, and it features a whole lot of Gwyneth Paltrow.  Don't say I didn't warn you.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

The Lost Boys

The Lost Boys was a VERY important film for me.  When it was released I was 13 years old.  I saw it for the first time not at a movie theatre, but at a slumber party.  It became an obsession of mine for a few years.  I mean, it knocked Kirk Cameron right off my charts.  Why did I love it so?  Because it was cool.  Or, what my 13 year old self thought was cool.  I fell hard for Jason Patric and Kiefer Sutherland.  I wanted to be Jami Gertz.  I thought Corey Haim was the SHIT.  Deep down, I want to think that something in me was attracted to the horror element.  But really, I was just a girl with a crush.  Of course,  I did want to be turned into a Vampire, but what 13 year old doesn't?  OK, what pre-Goth 13 year old doesn't?  This was years before Twilight people!

I watched it again after a recent visit to the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, where The Lost Boys was filmed.  I was surprised by two things.  One: how much I still liked the film, and Two: how Gay it is!  Corey Haim is totally gay in this film!  He has a Rob Lowe poster in his room.   He wears a shirt that says "Born to Shop." He is like 14 with highlights in his hair.  He thinks Jami Gertz is gross!  I could write a whole essay on his outfit choices!  My God!  I totally did not get this when I was 13.

Now some people will argue that there is a gay subtext to Kiefer Sutherland and Jason Patric's relationship as well.  I don't agree.  Kiefer just wants to hang out with someone who doesn't look like a Motley Crue reject.

Besides, Kiefer has a sort of girlfriend in STAR, played horribly by Jami Gertz.

I have nothing against Jami Gertz but she is very badly miscast in this film.  Every time she speaks I want to cringe.  Seriously.  And everyone wanted to sleep with her!  Kiefer, Jason, Grandpa.

What I find most interesting about The Lost Boys legacy is the Julia Roberts connection.  Remember when Julia left Kiefer....

for Jason and they flew off to Ireland together!  Isn't that awesome?!

Hotter than Jami Gertz.

Later Jason and Kiefer made up and starred in That Championship Season together, which was written by Jason's dad, Jason Miller, who was in The Exorcist.  Isn't it a small world?

What I still love about The Lost Boys is the humor, the style, and the finale.  During the last 15 minutes The Lost Boys essentially becomes a siege film.  Siege films are my favorite kind of films.  That's why I love Zombie films so much.  I like people trapped in a house fighting for their lives.  I also love sweaty saxophone players.   

Saturday, September 10, 2011

The Shiver of the Vampires 1970

When looking for images for this post I had a very difficult time finding any without naked women in them.  Thus is the glory of Jean Rollin.  The Shiver of the Vampires is my first Jean Rollin film.  While it probably won't be my last, I am not quite ready to join the Rollin fan club.  Yes, there is much to love here: beautiful Gothic decay, awesome 70's fashion and music, strange characters and trippy camera work, lots of blood, naked chicks (if that is your thing) and scarves.  Lots and lots of scarves.

I don't even know where to begin with this one.  Young newlyweds (Ise and Antoine) decide to spend their honeymoon in a Gothic castle, owned by the bride's cousins.  When they arrive they hear that the cousins have died, but they are welcomed to stay by the beautiful, mute maids that act as the caretakers for the castle.  Distraught, the bride demands that her husband sleep in the other room.  Later that night, a naked woman pops out from a grandfather clock and seduces young Ise.  Antoine, restless because he did not get laid on this wedding night, walks the castle while this is going on and witnesses a horrific vampire sacrifice ritual taking place.  Instead of grabbing Ise and hightailing it outta there, Antoine goes to Ise, now sleeping after being bitten by the grandfather clock vampire, feels her up, and goes back to bed.  This is just the first night.

Then the cousins show up.  Turns out they were vampire killers who were "turned" by the grandfather clock vampire.  The maids are somewhat under their spell (they are also lesbians of course) and the grandfather clock vampire rules them all.  At least, until she is raped by the cousins.  Oh, it is so confusing.  Is every Jean Rollin film like this?

The Shiver of the Vampires is a weird mix of horror, comedy, and eroticism.  It is very trippy.  You feel like you are stoned when you watch it.  Initially I didn't like the film, but the more I think about it the more it is growing on me.  My absolute favorite part of this film is Antoine.  Whenever he is about to go chase after Ise or the cousins he stops to put on a silk scarf.  Like his vampire hunting outfit is not complete without the paisley scarf!  He is like Fred from the Scooby gang.  No wonder Ise didn't want to sleep with him!