Thirst- not crappy

My Husband came in with a last-minute save on Friday and said "Lets go see Thirst!" saving me from sitting through H2 (which people either love or hate) or "Final Destination 4-the one in 3D." Instead we saw a non-crappy film: "Thirst," directed by Park Chan-wook (Oldboy.)
Confession: I have not seen "Oldboy." It is on my Netflix que right after "The Tudors Season One" and "Night of the Comet," really. After seeing "Thirst" I might have to move it up because I really like this guys style: which is bloody, sexy, more bloody, and visually arresting.

A young, idealistic Priest signs up for a medical experiment to find a treatment for a dreaded virus that has a 100% death rate. Part of the virus includes loosing copious amounts of blood (I hate that) and when the Priest starts spewing forth the red stuff he is given a blood transfusion. Well, this bastard donor happened to be a Vampire and although the Priest is cured of the vicious disease, he is now among the undead. Now, anyone would have a hard time adjusting to being a Vampire, but imagine how hard it would be for a man of God... pretty fucking hard. Now the Priest has to deal with bloodlust, sexual desire, people wanting him to make them Vampires. Of course, there is a girl, and this girl is CRAZY. Big time. And the poor Priest, a sucker is there ever was one (pun intended) falls for her hook, line, and sinker.

"Thirst," from the Priests point of view, deals with the philosophical and moral dilemma of being a bloodsucker. The filmmakers don't hit you over the head with this (the Priest isn't a brooding, Edward "I hate being a Vampire" sort) but it is the central theme of the film. What I really loved about this film, and I haven't seen much written about, is the fact that it is a Vampire Film Noir. Its "Double Indemnity" with fangs! There is a sucker (The Priest,) the Femme Fetale (Tae-ju, the woman who seduces him,) the plot (get rid of the husband,) and the payoff (comeuppance and redemption.) I could see this being made in the 40s with William Holden as the Priest and Joan Crawford as Barbara Stanwyck. It would be a lot less bloody but just as crazy.

Conundrum

VS.

What to see this weekend? "Halloween 2" or "The Final Destination" (aka Final Destination 4-the one in 3-D.) Why not see both you might ask? Well, I have 20 bucks to my name until next Friday and although I know in my heart of hearts these are both going to suck and I should just go see "District 9" again... I feel obligated. So H2 is directed by Rob Zombie: who I admire both as a musician and horror freak. Final D is in 3-D. H2 has Malcolm McDowell, who is all kinds of cool. Final D is in 3-D. H2 will have interesting music.....Final D is in 3-D. You catch my drift. I guess I should see the 3-D flick, but then I will feel left out on what everyone is bitching about
on Saturday. H2 it is! That is what my black, black heart is telling me to go see....

Zombie Attack in San Jose..

So Jonathan and I decided to drive out to San Jose last night for a pint and a walk. Things did not turn out so well. By the way, I love the soft focus "Barbara Streisand" lighting on this picture here.

As we were walking around downtown San Jose we were attacked! By Zombies!!! I know, its a dream come true.

Two Zombies post-meal. Amazingly enough, Jonathan and I both had cameras and we were just quick enough to be able to snap some pics and run like hell before they ate our brains (I did tell one Zombie that my brain was no good anymore and he went along his way...)

Zombies in love. Pretty sure the white orb in the lower part of the picture is a ghost, so I got a two for one deal. Sweet.

Is this the cutest baby Zombie you have ever seen or what?

The Zombies seemed to converge at this park where the film "Shaun of the Dead" happened to be playing. The Zombies were fascinated by the bright lights and sounds so Jonathan and I were able to walk among them without too much fear for our lives.

Slow moving Zombies...

There she is again! Kind enough to pose with my husband... He is the blur on the right. It is really hard to photograph Zombies in low light....

Finally! Someone to protect us....

Our protector was quickly devoured by these guys... Fast moving Zombies, sorry for the blur..

Here I am about to be attacked by a Zombie. Jonathan pulled me away after snapping this pic..

Beauty queen Zombies..

Persistent Zombie. All in all being attacked by Zombies was just as awesome as I thought it would be. I can mark that off my life goal list...

Basterds and Kittens

"Basterds and Kittens" would have been a good blog name. I should have named the blog I do for my parents that. Anyway, I have basked in the glory that is the awesomeness of "Inglourious Basterds." Let me say right away that this is in no way my favorite Tarantino flick, but it is pretty damn close. Strangely enough it reminds me quite a bit of "Jackie Brown" but don't ask me to explain that because it is close to lunch and by belly is rumbling.

"Basterds" has all the Tarantino hallmarks starting with great performances. Brad Pitt is hysterical as the leader of the Basterds. I am glad he is willing to take on these smaller roles (similar to "Burn after Reading") because he really shines in them. The best performance is by Christoph Waltz as the feared "Jew Hunter." It is no wonder he won best actor at Cannes. He is terrifying, intelligent, good at his job, and, as all great villains are, dangerously enticing.

Even Eli Roth is good as the base-ball bat wielding "Bear Jew" (guess what he does with the bat.) Eli Roth might even be growing on me, what with his "Trailers from Hell" commentaries and this flick. Still haven't forgiven him for that shaving scene in "Cabin Fever" though. Gross.

Watching "Inglorious Basterds" is like reading a book- or a fairy tale. The story is told in chapters and the relationships between all the players don't become clear until the bloody, audacious, "I can't believe he is doing that it is so awesome" end. Rumor has it "Basterds" was once going to be a multi-part television show. I could totally see it. Watching the film you want to know more about all the characters, even those that are just on the screen for a few minutes.

So I wouldn't classify this as horror film in anyway, but there is plenty of blood, gore, and head-trauma if that is your kind of thing. It is definitely a geek-out film. It made me as happy as watching this video does....

See, I promised there would be Kittens.

Zombie survival rules

Looks like I won't make the Zombie crawl tomorrow night in San Jose (damn stinkin' job) but I will be there for the aftermath (outdoor showing of Shaun of the Dead and rumored Thriller Dance re-enactment.) Good news is that I do have a cast-iron skillit.

Alive in Joburg

This short film, "Alive in Joburg" was directed by Neill Blomkamp and served as the basis for the AWESOME "District 9." Shot in 2005 the short was produced by Sharlto Copley, who stars in "District 9" and has a small part here. It is interesting to see the changes that Blomkamp made for the feature length film. This is a great short, and can be enjoyed even if you don't plan on seeing the movie. But come on, see the movie. It is really, really good.

Yeah! Another Saw.

Two things I like about the Saw films: Shawnee Smith, who wasn't in the last one (or two, I lose track,) and the posters, which are usually pretty cool. What I hate about the Saw films: that they now have a lock on Halloween and instead of seeing "Halloween 2" or "Trick or Treat" or anything even mildly interesting, we have to sit through more of the same crap.

PS: I had the teaser trailer posted here but it kept playing automatically so I took it off. The flick is not even out yet and I am already annoyed.

Dinner for Ten part 2

Ten Monsters (real or fictional) that I would love to have at a Dinner Party....

1. Frankenstein's Monster
2. Dracula
3. The Wolfman
4. Jack the Ripper
5. Pinhead
6. Cthulhu (he would eat all of us.)
7. Freddy Kruger
8. Hannibal Lecter
9. The Fawn (Pan's Labyrinth)
10. The Fly

I realize Frankenstein's Monster and Cthulhu might not be the best conversationalists (hence no Zombies) but I would be worried that their feelings would be hurt if I didn't invite them.

Dinner for Ten

Ten Horror writers that I would love to have at a Dinner party.

1. HP Lovecraft


2. Edgar Allan Poe


3. Stephen King


4. Shirley Jackson


5. Matthew Lewis


6. Clive Barker


7. Richard Matheson


8. Cormac McCarthy (he is a horror writer.)


9. Neil Gaiman


10. Marquis de Sade (for shits and giggles.)

Happy Belated Birthday...

Cthulhu is punishing me for forgetting the Master's birthday. Yesterday was HP Lovecraft's birthday. Instead of sacrificing something (my pride?) at the alter of Cthulhu, I went to see the old Joan Crawford flick "The Women" at the Stanford Theatre. Joan Crawford IS a scary bitch so at least I did something horror related. Happy Birthday Buddy. Thanks for all the nightmares.

But some of us awake in the night with strange phantasms

of enchanted hills

and gardens, of fountains

that sing in the sun, of golden cliffs overhanging

murmuring seas,

of plains that stretch down to sleeping cities of bronze and

stone,

and of shadowy companies of heroes that ride caparisoned white horses

along the edges of thick forests;

and then we know that we have looked back

through the ivory gates into that world of wonder

which was ours before we were

wise and unhappy.

-HP Lovecraft.

The Wolfman

This film was going to be released in 2008. It was pushed back to 2009. Now it is not opening until 2010. Usually not a good sign but this trailer doesn't look half bad. Could the film actually be good? I love old school shit like this so I am keeping my fingers crossed. No blue Aliens is a plus!

The Blue Man Group

I don't have much time to write before I go be miserable at work (quit bitching) but I wanted to let you (my 4? readers) know that "District 9" is, indeed, awesome. It is like Gene Roddenberry and David Cronenberg met, fell in love, and gave birth to this movie (highly unlikely.) It has heart, action, just enough gore, and "it is not hard to figure out" social commentary. Neill Blomkamp, the Director, is going to be huge! Can't wait for his next film.... and District 10 which should be out in about 3 years...

I was a bit late getting to this movie so I missed one preview (you know how I like previews.) Of course, this was the Mother of all previews, "Avatar." I ran into the theatre only to see one blue head and the screen go blank. So, high on "District 9," I rushed home to the trusty internet and watched this.....

Not enough Sam Worthington, too many blue people. Why am I getting a sinking feeling in my chest? Please tell me this is not going to suck.

Histoires Extraordinaires....

AKA "Spirits of the Dead" AKA "Better enjoyed if stoned." "Histoires Extraordinaires" is another AIP "omnibus" film from 1968 when everything was really groovy and Jane Fonda didn't wear pants. Directors Roger Vadim (crazy,) Louis Malle (how did he get mixed up in this fuckery?) and Federico Fellini (more crazy) put their stamp on three tales by Edgar Allan Poe. Vadim does "Metzengerstein" and films it like a medieval prequel to "Barbarella." Jane Fonda stars as Countess Federica, a debauched heiress who lives only for pleasure and cruelty (so far so good.) She gets the hots for her Cousin (played by Brother Peter Fonda... eww!) and when he rebuffs her she sets fire to his stables, accidentally killing him in the process. She then gets unnaturally close to a horse and continues to go around pant less. Now, I have not read "Metzengerstein," (it is sitting next to the computer, I am getting to it, I swear,) but I can bet good money that this was not the vision Poe had in mind. But what the hell do I know. Maybe that story is about a chick who walks around without pants on and has orgies and takes baths with other women. Who knows. Don't let that description make you think this part of the film is any good. Its not.

The next sequence, by Malle, is "William Wilson," which, of all three segments, sticks pretty closely to the original story. "William Wilson" is one of my favorite Poe tales, and this sequence is my favorite from the film (although critics at the time seem to think it was boring. It has nudity, come on!) Alain Delon stars as Wilson, another debauched youth who is being haunted by a do-good er doppelganger (I love made up words.) Bridget Bardot co-stars as a women he tries to swindle.

The final sequence, by Fellini, is entitled "Toby Dammit" and it is VERY loosely based on "Never Bet the Devil Your Head." This short flick is so trippy I just watched it with my jaw hanging open. Terence Stamp stars as a 1960s Lindsey Lohan type but with talent. He agrees to star in a film about the life of Jesus Christ, re imagined as a Western. Half-mad and alcoholic, Dammit starts seeing visions of a young girl dressed in white bouncing a ball. The young girl, it turns out, is the Devil come to claim Dammit. In between is a lot of Fellini-esque nonsense, which is both hysterical and ridiculous. This part was my least favorite, but critics at the time LOVED it. It was even released on its own and called a "lost" Fellini masterpiece.

I am taking a break from "omnibus" films for a while. I just got "Dexter" Season Three and that will be occupying all of my valuable time. Keeping fingers crossed for expected "Inglorious Basterds" awesomeness this weekend.

I Spit on Your Grave..

AKA: Day of the Woman. Not much to say about this one. Didn't bother me when I was 5, doesn't bother me now.



Just kidding, I as at least 15 when I saw this. I do have a very vivid memory of my Sister Rhonda describing to me, in great detail, the entire film. She really loved the bathroom scene and made sure that I knew every frame of it. See, she ruined it for me! I was probably 10. This post should really be on Kindertrauma (http://www.kindertrauma.com/.) Although I don't feel in the least bit dirty for watching this flick, my 4 readers (I think I might have lost one) will feel dirty reading a blog post about it, so all I have to say about "I Spit on Your Grave" is: great title.

Legion

OMG! Thank you Christ above that I have this film to look forward to in 2010! I was laughing and dancing around the room like a little girl while watching this trailer. And those who know me know that is true!! What sealed the deal was when I saw that Dennis Quaid was in it. Warning! This trailer contains dirty words! So hide the children.

The Abominable Dr. Phibes

"The Abominable Dr. Phibes," an AIP Picture from 1971, stars the AWESOME Vincent Price and my 1940s crush Joseph Cotton in a sick tale of revenge, madness, and art-deco terror.

Look how cool this picture is! I want this wallpapered all over my room. How can I convince my husband that this is a good idea?

Ok, Phibes. Vincent Price stars as Dr. Phibes, Organist and Doctor (what?) driven mad by the premature death of his beautiful wife and the subsequent car crash that burned his face and destroyed his vocal cords (huh?) He has to talk and drink champagne (which he does with his beautiful but mute assistant Vulnavia) through his neck. Phibes has vowed revenge on the Nine Doctors who were operating on his wife when she died (Nine? Really? What hell kind of operation was she having?) Since this is Vincent Price revenge equals horrible, agonizing, way too elaborate deaths. There is some nonsense about how his murders parallel the Plagues of Egypt, but I don't remember anyone getting killed by a catapulted Golden Unicorn in the Bible. But then again, I didn't read the Bible very closely so maybe it is there. Anyway, this movie is so awesome that someone gets killed by a catapulted Golden Unicorn! Someone also gets their head crushed to death by a Frog mask, and another person gets eaten to death by locusts!! Really, it only takes about 10 locusts to completely take the skin off your face in under 5 hours. I had no idea.

This film (which has a awesome soundtrack by the way,) influenced everything from "Seven" to "Silence of the Lambs" to "Saw." Phibes in an evil genius along the lines of Lecter and John Doe, and some of the deaths and traps are worse than anything in the "Saw" franchise (eaten to death by 10 locusts!!) I am off to watch the sequel right now and eat some chili. That way I will be up all night with heartburn and I won't have nightmares about embalming myself alive (that happens in this movie too! How great is that!)

I forgot to mention that the Anthony Hopkins looking guy from "The Vault of Horror" is in this as well (his name is Terry-Thomas) and again he dies horribly!! And he didn't even really do anything wrong! Poor bastard.

The Graveyard Book..

Rattle his bones

Over the stones

It's only a pauper

Who nobody owns

I want to go live with Nobody Owens and Coraline in Neil Gaiman's magical world (minus Tori Amos) forever and ever. This book was so wonderful I was sad when I finished it. I have to say I liked it better than "Coraline," which is high praise indeed (but I also like "Mommie Dearest" a lot so take what I say with a grain of salt.) "The Graveyard Book" tells the story of Nobody Owens, nicknamed "Bod," who is being raised by the ghostly inhabitants of a graveyard. Had I read this book when I was a little girl my parents would have to have put a leash on me to keep me from running away to the graveyard. "The Graveyard Book" is almost like a "portmanteau" film (a word I vow to use everyday) in that it is made up of short, interconnected stories. And it is scary!!!! Really scary, and not just for kids. And it has Ghouls!! Ghouls might be my new favorite thing because they are much more interesting than Zombies, which really are not that interesting at all. If you read one book this year, and you have already read "Mommie Dearest," make it "The Graveyard Book." Tricks are for kids.

All the things that make life worth leaving....

The movie, not the blog, but you should check that out (http://www.thevaultofhorror.blogspot.com/)

"The Vault of Horror" is an Amicus film. Amicus was the other, non-Hammer studio producing horror out of England in the 70s. Amicus specialized in "portmanteau" or "omnibus" films...

He really didn't deserve this...

I didn't know what "portmanteau" meant either, and I looked it up and I still don't know what it means, but trust me on this. "The Vault of Horror" is the 2nd "portmanteau" film by Amicus, the first being "Tales from the Crypt," which I didn't see first because I messed up my Netflix Que.

Dr. Who the 2nd. He did deserve to die, and in a really nasty way..

Both films are based on EC Comics . I have been reading up on Horror comics (when I am not reading about Swedish Vampire Children,) and I have to say, I Love Them!! The bad guys always get their comeuppance, like they do in this film. 5 upper class British twits are trapped in a vault together, and they decide to pass the time by telling each other their worst dreams (as you do.) The one thing they have in common is that they all have done really nasty things. Well, except this one guy, whose only fault was being a neat-freak and an asshole who kind of looks like Anthony Hopkins. Anyway, their dreams all include their really horrible deaths. Or are they dreams? I won't spoil it. But neat-freak gets a hammer to the head, all for being an asshole.

The Lovely Bones

I really loved this book. The trailer kind of looks all over the place, but it's Peter Jackson, and I adore him. I even liked "King Kong" so there.

More Vampires (yawn)

Aw, this looks kinda cute and I love me some John C. Reilly. I have a post coming up for "Vault of Horror" (supercool) and "The Graveyard Book" (even more super cool) but the RA is beating my ass at the moment and all I want to do is sleep and watch The Travel Channel. So when I am feeling better you can expect some new posts, sure to be insightful and thought-provoking, as they usually are. (Yes I am kidding.)

The Graveyard Book

This book is so good that I just want to crawl into it and live there. But it has been suggested that I get out of the house for something besides work so off to the movies I go to see a non-horror film (500 Days of Summer.) Yes, I should see "The Orphan" but I already know how it ends (thanks internets.)

Grace

When is this movie coming out? I swear to God I just spend my life watching trailers for awesome films that are never going to be released. Sure, crap like "Friday the 13th" gets released, but I won't be able to see this until 2012. Whatever. Anyway, this looks like a horror film just for Women. And I love, love, love Jordan Ladd. I am glad she has fully embraced the genre.

Friday the 13th

Totally pointless.