Cleanse my palate

Break, break, break,
On thy cold gray stones, O sea!
And I would that my tongue could utter
The thoughts that arise in me.

O, well for the fisherman's boy,
That he shouts with his sister at play!
O, well for the sailor lad,
That he sings in his boat on the bay!

And the stately ships go on
To their haven under the hill;
But O for the touch of a vanished hand,
And the sound of a voice that is still!

Break, break, break,
At the foot of thy crags, O sea!
But the tender grace of a day that is dead
Will never come back to me.

-- Alfred, Lord Tennyson

After "Redneck" wedding I had to post something else, lest my blog become sullied with the smell of redneck. This is one of my favorite Tennyson poems, and I thought of it because I am reading "Robinson Crusoe." I am reading "Robinson Crusoe" because I had to cleanse my palate (and myself) after reading those Vampire novels. I am constantly making up for my cultural indiscretions.

Take a shower

My wonderful husband has an amazing talent: he can find the weirdest shit to watch on television no matter what the time. Last night we discovered "My Big Redneck Wedding." This is an actual reality show, on the Country Music Channel (did you expect it to be on PBS?)

The picture above explains it all. We have, of course, done a series recording, and we realized that we made a mistake when we did not have a mud pit at our wedding. Last night we also watched a woman cut off her own boob on Nip/Tuck and George Clinton sing a country song on "Gone Country." We spent an hour watching the Country Channel. I have been in the shower ever since. In more civilized news, we are going to see "Watchmen" tonight!! Yeah!!

I wanna ride the Midnight Meat Train..

No, I really fucking don't! Saw "Midnight Meat Train" (best title ever) last night and I am totally in love! Based on a short story by Clive Barker and directed by Ryuhei Kitamura, the crazy bastard that directed "Versus," "MMT" is a scary, gory, inventive piece of film making that is neither a remake nor a sequel. Imagine that! An original horror film!

I would have loved to see this in the theatres but Lionsgate, the studio behind the film, dumped it on DVD. Guess they figured it was a hard sell because it was actually scary and creepy instead of mindless and boring.

Vinnie Jones is great at the "Butcher" (I think they call him Mahogany for some reason) who rides the late night subways looking for victims. Bradley Cooper is the photographer that stumbles on to this story and becomes obsessed.

Now this film is not perfect by any means. The "inventive" camera work is a little distracting, the Cooper character is so dumb you are yelling at him the entire film, and the gore is a little excessive for my taste. Still, I loved it. First, it is a very "Lovecraftian" tale (can't give away the ending, but lets just say Jones is no ordinary killer.) Second, it falls into the category of "terrifying." There are no "Boo" scares. You always know what is coming, but it is that anticipation, the "Terror" of it all that leaves an impression. Finally, I cared about the characters. The same can't be said for the fools in "My Bloody Valentine." Why oh why does shit like "Saw" get released every year and I have to see this on the small screen?

It is a smart idea..

Check out this article from the Onion: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/lovecraftian_school_board_member?utm_source=facebook_1 Freaking hilarious. Thanks to my favorite horror blog "The Vault of Horror" for turning me on to this.

Trailer Friday

I have a feeling all of these trailers are coming out because they are attached to Watchmen, which I have to wait to see and it is KILLING me.

Extreme Awesomeness

Ok, this trailer rocks for many, many reasons. Number One: Gives you an idea of the plot, which looks good. Number Two: It is super intense. No wonder Christian Bale went ballastic on the poor lighting guy. Number Three: Post-apocalyptic future! My favorite! And Number Four: They had the good sense to use a Nine Inch Nails song! We are officially entering geek movie time, with the Watchmen out today, then this, and Wolverine and Star Trek! I think my inner geek just did a happy dance.

The Haunted Palace (1963)

What WAS the terrifying thing in the Pit that wanted women? It was one of the Elder Gods of course! Or an Elder God's second cousin. In any case, I just finished watching "The Haunted Palace," an AIP picture directed by Roger Corman. Now, the film is called "Edgar Allan Poe's The Haunted Palace" despite the fact that it is based on "The Case of Charles Dexter Ward" by HP Lovecraft. Apparently AIP was worried that no one knew who Lovecraft was, whereas everyone knew Poe. Plus, they had made a string of successful Poe adaptations so yadda, yadda, yadda. The only connection to Poe is a voice over of his poem near the very end.

My third favorite actor in history, Vincent Price, plays Charles Dexter Ward, a dandy who just inherited his great-great-grandfather's estate. Problem is, Pappy was the evil warlock Joseph Curwen, who was burned alive by the townspeople of Arkham for his wicked ways. Of course, he cursed the townspeople, as you do, and 150 years later the poor saps are still suffering from deformities and general bad luck.

You do not fuck with warlocks, especially warlocks who own a copy of THE NECRONOMICON and are trying to create a super race by mating human women with the beastie in the pit! Ward and his wife have no idea of his ancestor's history, and when they arrive they are greeted with fear and dire warnings to "Leave Now!" They don't, and soon Ward is possessed by the spirit of Grandpa and all hell breaks loose.

I have to admit I loved this picture! Price is fantastic, Lon Chaney Jr shows up as the evil butler (unfortunately much ravaged by the effects of alcohol abuse,) and the score kicks ass, even though it was not done by Les Baxter (he had to have been hanging around though because it is so jazzy cool.) Big thumbs up for "The Haunted Palace."