Thursday, June 24, 2010

The Final Destination: 5 bucks poorly spent

I don't want to hate on Final Destination.  I love these movies!  I think they are inventive, and they often give me heart palpitations: waiting for the death to finally arrive is major stress!  So, I really was looking forward to the 4th installment: The Final Destination, aka Final Destination 4, aka We should have made the third film in 3-D because how cool would it have been to call it Final Destination 3-D but the technology just wasn't there so now we have The Final Destination 4 (in 3-D.)  I had such faith in this franchise that I purchased said film, sight unseen, for 5 bucks. 
Well, it sucked.  Bad decision.  All of the elements are there: the long, tricky death sequences, the "is that dropped quarter going to kill her" suspense, the over the top gore.  But all of this means nothing if you just don't give a shit about any of the characters.  And I didn't.  I was rooting for most of them to die.  And that didn't even bring me the joy that it usually does.

Some kids, I can't tell if they are in college or high school but they seem to have no jobs buts lots of money, are at a racetrack.  Cute but approachable Boy Number 1: Nick, has a premonition that the shit is going to hit the fan.  He drags his over-yoga-ed girlfriend Lori and their two friends, Cute but douchbag Boy Number 2 and totally dispensable chick whom we are hoping gets killed in a really weird way, like maybe getting decapitated in a car wash, out of the stadium just in the nick of time.  And we really know the rest of the story.

The deaths are pretty inventive but after 4 films, the bloom is off the rose.  I did like Krista Allen as a MILF who gets it in a hair salon, and the aforementioned car wash scene was pretty groovy, but done better in The Crazies.

As for the 3-D I was totally lame and didn't see it in the theatres.  It looks like it was pretty cool and it would have probably upped by enjoyment level of this film.  I think, and hope, this is the last of the Final Destination series: don't continue to beat this dead horse. 

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