Michael Reeves

Couldn't find a trailer for "The She-Beast" anywhere. But enjoy these two examples of Michael Reeves awesomeness!!

Insightful review of "Witchfinder General" to follow... but not now. I am dead tired from staying up watching that "Manson" special on A&E last night. Damn you A&E for being so riveting!

Halloween 2

Do I scare you?

Everyone, it seems, has a very strong opinion about "Halloween 2." Scratch that. They either have a very strong opinion that they hate it and Rob Zombie should go crawl under a rock, or they write: "Well, it's not good, but it's not THAT bad..."

This bathroom is gross.

I fall into the second camp. It is NOT a good flick. It is not so bad it's good. But I have seen worse. "Feardotcom," for instance, is worse than this flick. The "Friday the 13th" remake is worse. "The Hills have Eyes 2-the remake" is better. "The last House on the Left-remake" is worse. " Tom Savini's version of "Night of the Living Dead" is better. It's a very complicated rating system....

That is the chick from "Reno 911"

Mr. Zombie starts the film with a some psychobabble quote about white horses and then proceeds to beat that imagery to death. He then places us in the hospital with poor Laurie Strode, understandably freaked the shit out over her experience. Just when you think "Wow, he is really following the storyline of the original second film" he wakes up Laurie. It was all a dream. How clever.

Cut to a year later and Laurie is a total mess. She even has a tattoo. This I like. Of course she would be a mess- her life is really fucked up!! And she works for Howard Hessman in a hippie coffee shop. Not good. Dr. Loomis, the always great Malcolm McDowell, is on tour promoting his new book about Myers. Loomis, Laurie, and Myers all converge on Haddonfield on... you guessed it....Halloween. And everyone is having bad dreams and hallucinations and listening to shitty music...... its a bad trip.

The flick has a couple of good scares and some gore but nothing mind blowing. The only sequence I thought was kind of cool involved pumpkin people. Zombie should make this film next instead of "The Blob." Here is my problem with Zombie: He doesn't have a sense of humor. There is no humor in this... at all. It is so serious and so ridiculous you want to slap the film in its face. If you are going make a film about a 8ft guy with Mommy issues eating dogs and stalking his poor fucked up sister.........well, you just can't take yourself that seriously. And Zombie films this like it is fucking "Citizen Kane." Lighten up, you are a rock star. Come on...

Now that I am done with my rant, let me just say I don't hate Zombie and I really didn't hate this film. It just made me want to watch the original "Halloween," hell, even the original "Halloween 2" again just to see how a good film is done. And that is a good thing.

Halloween purchases so far...

Yes, this is hours of awesome and fun entertainment....

Gift from friend appropriately named "Pumpkin"..... Please note headless Zombie in the background, a gift from a mindless minion...

This bottle won't last long. I am going to Sonoma County this weekend... Where are the "Zombie Cellars" anyway? That is where I want to be.

The only thing I was really looking for this Halloween.... a nice Raven. Soon to be nailed to the bust of Pallas just above my chamber door.

I know you are waiting for my insightful review of "Halloween 2." Sorry, have to keep waiting. I need a night to sleep on this one. I will let you know of my experience at the theatre however. My ring tone is the Halloween theme. I wondered if my cell phone went off during this movie anyone would notice. Then I thought "Of course not, I am the only freaking person in this theatre!" Yes, I had a private showing. It actually enhanced the experience because when I got bored during the flick, I could run around the theatre pretending that Michael Myers was chasing me.

I didn't really, but I could have.

Time to get classy...

What could be more classy than James Mason narrating my favorite Edgar Allan Poe short "The Tell-Tale Heart?" I say that is my favorite but I love them all so very much.. Especially "The Black Cat" which still gives me nightmares (rare non-zombie nightmares...) What I love about "The Tell-Tale Heart" is that is gets scarier with every reading. I read it for the first time when I was maybe 12 or 13, and all I knew of horror was "Frankenstein" and "Night of the Living Dead." Well, I also knew "Last house on the Left" and "I Spit on your Grave" but that is another post.. I remember thinking at the time that the thing with the milky eye and the fact that the narrator could still hear the beating of the dead man's heart was pretty freaky, but beyond that... well, where were the zombies? The Ax-murderers? The Gore?

Jump to ten years later. In college, no doubt putting off working on my thesis, I re-read the tale. Wow, I forgot there was actual dismemberment in this short. And dark, dark humor. And tension... The whole act of peeking in on the old man every night, slowly sticking the head in through the door, turning on the lantern so that just a sliver of light hits the soon to be dead man's milky eye...

Now, ten years on (this makes me 42?) I read the tale again, this time while on my lunch break. Who am I kidding, I read it while working. It was slow. Actual heart palpitations and cold sweats. "The Tell-Tale Heart" is about madness and terror. Not horror, but actual terror, both the narrators and the old mans. The scariest part for me is the period between the old man hearing a noise in his room and bolting upright, and the actual murder. Poe makes you not only feel the terror that the old man is feeling, but also the nervous anticipation and insanity of the nameless killer. The fact that the narrator swears he is sane is all the more chilling. It makes you question your own sanity. I didn't understand this when I was younger. The "Tell-Tale Heart" is a story that becomes all the more terrifying with age and wisdom.

What else is more terrifying with age and wisdom? The films of Mr. Rob Zombie. Terrifyingly bad. I am off to see H2 today. I don't know why either...

Call Jason and Grant, but not those douchebags from that other show...

You know that show I am talking about.. I think it is on the Travel Channel and it has the douchebags ghost hunting.. I usually love all Travel Channel shows and all Ghost hunting shows but not this one!! I can't even watch it! I feel like I need a shower. So I am not "haunting" the interweb enough because I have never heard of this flick. Thank God above I kept my "Entertainment Weekly" subscription. I love movies that make me dizzy (I am serious, I really do. I don't understand people that complain about them. Don't go, and don't pretend you didn't know it was going to be that kind of film. I heard someone complaining after "District 9" and I wanted to say "The the hell are you doing here? Did you think this was the Sandra Bullock movie?") Anyway, I want to see this because the thing I love most (after Zombies) are Ghosts! Well, I love my husband and family and cat the most, but the spookiest thing I love most, after Zombies, are Ghosts. And Ghouls. When is a good Ghoul film coming out?

Thirst- not crappy

My Husband came in with a last-minute save on Friday and said "Lets go see Thirst!" saving me from sitting through H2 (which people either love or hate) or "Final Destination 4-the one in 3D." Instead we saw a non-crappy film: "Thirst," directed by Park Chan-wook (Oldboy.)
Confession: I have not seen "Oldboy." It is on my Netflix que right after "The Tudors Season One" and "Night of the Comet," really. After seeing "Thirst" I might have to move it up because I really like this guys style: which is bloody, sexy, more bloody, and visually arresting.

A young, idealistic Priest signs up for a medical experiment to find a treatment for a dreaded virus that has a 100% death rate. Part of the virus includes loosing copious amounts of blood (I hate that) and when the Priest starts spewing forth the red stuff he is given a blood transfusion. Well, this bastard donor happened to be a Vampire and although the Priest is cured of the vicious disease, he is now among the undead. Now, anyone would have a hard time adjusting to being a Vampire, but imagine how hard it would be for a man of God... pretty fucking hard. Now the Priest has to deal with bloodlust, sexual desire, people wanting him to make them Vampires. Of course, there is a girl, and this girl is CRAZY. Big time. And the poor Priest, a sucker is there ever was one (pun intended) falls for her hook, line, and sinker.

"Thirst," from the Priests point of view, deals with the philosophical and moral dilemma of being a bloodsucker. The filmmakers don't hit you over the head with this (the Priest isn't a brooding, Edward "I hate being a Vampire" sort) but it is the central theme of the film. What I really loved about this film, and I haven't seen much written about, is the fact that it is a Vampire Film Noir. Its "Double Indemnity" with fangs! There is a sucker (The Priest,) the Femme Fetale (Tae-ju, the woman who seduces him,) the plot (get rid of the husband,) and the payoff (comeuppance and redemption.) I could see this being made in the 40s with William Holden as the Priest and Joan Crawford as Barbara Stanwyck. It would be a lot less bloody but just as crazy.

Conundrum

VS.

What to see this weekend? "Halloween 2" or "The Final Destination" (aka Final Destination 4-the one in 3-D.) Why not see both you might ask? Well, I have 20 bucks to my name until next Friday and although I know in my heart of hearts these are both going to suck and I should just go see "District 9" again... I feel obligated. So H2 is directed by Rob Zombie: who I admire both as a musician and horror freak. Final D is in 3-D. H2 has Malcolm McDowell, who is all kinds of cool. Final D is in 3-D. H2 will have interesting music.....Final D is in 3-D. You catch my drift. I guess I should see the 3-D flick, but then I will feel left out on what everyone is bitching about
on Saturday. H2 it is! That is what my black, black heart is telling me to go see....