Saturday, September 5, 2009

Halloween 2

Do I scare you?

Everyone, it seems, has a very strong opinion about "Halloween 2." Scratch that. They either have a very strong opinion that they hate it and Rob Zombie should go crawl under a rock, or they write: "Well, it's not good, but it's not THAT bad..."

This bathroom is gross.
I fall into the second camp. It is NOT a good flick. It is not so bad it's good. But I have seen worse. "Feardotcom," for instance, is worse than this flick. The "Friday the 13th" remake is worse. "The Hills have Eyes 2-the remake" is better. "The last House on the Left-remake" is worse. " Tom Savini's version of "Night of the Living Dead" is better. It's a very complicated rating system....

That is the chick from "Reno 911"
Mr. Zombie starts the film with a some psychobabble quote about white horses and then proceeds to beat that imagery to death. He then places us in the hospital with poor Laurie Strode, understandably freaked the shit out over her experience. Just when you think "Wow, he is really following the storyline of the original second film" he wakes up Laurie. It was all a dream. How clever.

Cut to a year later and Laurie is a total mess. She even has a tattoo. This I like. Of course she would be a mess- her life is really fucked up!! And she works for Howard Hessman in a hippie coffee shop. Not good. Dr. Loomis, the always great Malcolm McDowell, is on tour promoting his new book about Myers. Loomis, Laurie, and Myers all converge on Haddonfield on... you guessed it....Halloween. And everyone is having bad dreams and hallucinations and listening to shitty music...... its a bad trip.
The flick has a couple of good scares and some gore but nothing mind blowing. The only sequence I thought was kind of cool involved pumpkin people. Zombie should make this film next instead of "The Blob." Here is my problem with Zombie: He doesn't have a sense of humor. There is no humor in this... at all. It is so serious and so ridiculous you want to slap the film in its face. If you are going make a film about a 8ft guy with Mommy issues eating dogs and stalking his poor fucked up sister.........well, you just can't take yourself that seriously. And Zombie films this like it is fucking "Citizen Kane." Lighten up, you are a rock star. Come on...
Now that I am done with my rant, let me just say I don't hate Zombie and I really didn't hate this film. It just made me want to watch the original "Halloween," hell, even the original "Halloween 2" again just to see how a good film is done. And that is a good thing.


Cellar Door said...

I remember, in 6th grade, our teacher whom we loved to hate, Mr. Robb, said, "Never end a story with, 'and then I woke up.'"

That's what I think of whenever something is, "all a dream," which isn't to say that I treasure every word that Mr. Robb spoke to me, or anything.

Mr. Robb also said once that everyone's pinkie finger is the same length as their nose. Try it. It's not true.

Nevertheless. Don't say it was all a dream! Bah! That only works for Alice, no one else.

Jonathan said...

Mr. Robb (Zombie?) had an excellent plan to make everyone hold their pinky up to their nose.

renosord said...

Wasn't Mr Robb a PE teacher, who also taught English or History or something that he was not qualified to teach? All I remember is that he was an ass. And my pinkie is way longer than my nose... By the way this is Jen on my Dad's computer. I am just too lazy to sign out.

Cellar Door said...

Yes and yes. I thought momentarily that some person I never knew somehow managed to know about Mr. Robb. It gave me a funny, tingly feeling. Oh, well.

My pinkie is way longer than my nose, too.

These days, the thought that would go through my head would be about another part, a certain very male part, and if that corresponds to the nose, the finger, the hands, or just strictly speaking the bulge in the pants?