Sick Day.

I love this comic. I wish I got it in my local paper. But NO! They continue to run crap like "For Better or for Worse" and "Mallard Fillmore," which may be the worst comic ever created (besides BC.) Anyway, I am out sick today because of the stomach flu. Doesn't that sound fun? I may have caught it over the internets.

Torture Garden: its not what you think..

No, I am not talking about the 1899 novel by Octave Mirbeau written during the Dreyfus Affair. I am talking about the kick-ass flick from 1967: TORTURE GARDEN!!!

OK, I didn't even know there was a book called Torture Garden by Octave Mirbeau written during the Dreyfus Affair. I only know about the Dreyfus affair thanks to my background in Art History, and something about Degas being a racist. When you type "Torture Garden" into google, you get links to the "World's Leading Fetish Club" (no surprise) and Mirbeau's book, which I am guessing is NOT what I think its about. And neither is the film "Torture Garden." There is no garden, and no torture. WTF?

What is does have is the AWESOME Burgess Meredith playing "Dr Diabolo" (really?), a Carnival Barker that convinces a couple of assholes to pay extra to have their futures read by a statue of Atropus (you can google that, I did.) All of their futures are bad of course, due to shitty, horrible decisions that they will make. Or not. They have the opportunity to change things, if they can overcome their "evil." Now we all know that Jack Palance is not getting over his "evil." He stars in the best story (Torture Garden is an omnibus of short stories) about a man obsessed with Edgar Allan Poe. He meets another Poe obsessive (the equally awesome Peter Cushing) who has a collection that includes the re-animated corpse of Poe! Pretty cool and actually a bit creepy. Yeah Zombie Poe! Anyway I liked the film.

The Changeling 1980

Since this economy is taking a bite out of my ass, the only thing to do on my days off is immerse myself in the world of ghosts and monsters. Shit, I would do that anyway, but right now my old buddies are helping me out more than ever. Yesterday I watched "The Changeling."This is the film from 1980 (not the Angelina Jolie thing) starring George C. Scott as a grief stricken composer who rents a big old scary house in Seattle which happens to be haunted. Oh why can't I have that luck?

I remember seeing this as a very young girl and the only thing I remember about it is the child's wheelchair tumbling down the stairs. Left an impression, I have been scared of wheelchairs ever since..

Anyway, this ghost is pissed because as a sickly young child (he had Arthritis!) he was murdered by his Father and replaced by another boy (hence "the Changeling") in order for the family to inherit a fortune. The replacement boy, this poor old bastard above, will ultimately have to pay the price for something that wasn't even his fault. Shitty luck but a really great film. I would have to put it up there in the top ten ghost stories I have ever seen committed to film.

Now the question today is: do I take my last 10 bucks and go see "Friday the 13th" or do I lay around watching old horror movies all day? It's a rough life, yes it is.

Birthday Party!

It was Pumpkin's birthday this weekend, so there was lots of eating and partying. I even missed the Academy Awards, but don't worry, I taped it.

Tanya and I. I don't want anyone correcting my grammar!

Harold keeping everyone entertained at the party.

Harold and Carla! So sweet!

I am telling Jonathan something terribly important. I think I was telling him that my pants have split because I ate so much and that he has to escort me out so no one can tell.

The beautiful Elly and the beautiful Tanya. It was great that Elly could come down for the party.

I really liked this shot with the candle. I can't remember what the hell Tanya was telling that lady but everyone looks very enthusiastic about it. I was so tired from all of this I actually went to bed at 8pm last night. I finally feel human again! I am really getting very, very old.

This is getting silly

Fresh on the heels of "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" comes news that a film is being made called "Pride and Predator." It is exactly what you think. Check out the story: http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2009/feb/17/pride-and-predator-to-give-jane-austen-extreme-makeover
This is a trend I don't mind: Can't wait for "Jason vs. Freddy vs. Emma."

My computer is sick

My computer is sick so I haven't been able to surf the internets for a while.  I am using my husbands laptop and I can't quite get the hang of it.  I feel like my Father must every time he sits down at the computer: totally clueless.  This keyboard is not RA friendly, so I must go now to do other things: like see what is on Perez Hilton or something!

Mickey Rourke is a Zombie?

Despite the poster telling you that you will witness the resurrection of Mickey Rourke, "The Wrestler" is not a Zombie movie. It is a terrific "Americana" film in the tradition of "Million Dollar Baby" and "There will be Blood." By that I mean a film that could only be set in America: the gritty, imperfect. shallow, good guys finish last America that no one likes to talk about. Much like "Million Dollar Baby," you think "The Wrestler" is about redemption, but its really not. Its about how even if you follow your dream, life can still shit on you, and its probably your fault. Needless to say this is not a happy film, but its a damn good one, despite the lack of Zombies.

Scenes from the Magical Kingdom..

This is me, this is my but. I actually think this may be one of the best pictures I have ever taken.

This poor dog only gets fed twice a day!!

My art shot of Sam. I am very proud of this picture as well, despite the porno movie lighting.

Frodo hopes my Father will drop something on the ground. There is a good chance that he will.

This is Garfield, the stray cat that wisely adopted my Father and now has complete run of the house. I realize these pictures are very similar to the ones I took that last time I visited my parents. Not a lot changes there. That's why it is the "Magical Kingdom known as my parent's house."

Leave him alone

Poor fucking Stains.

Baby Gorillas are Magic

I may have mentioned before how much I love this comic.

I just had to post these pictures. This is the new baby gorilla at the SF Zoo.

It was abandoned by its mother, so the zookeepers are "training" another gorilla to take her place. There is also a contest to name the baby. I say either "Cupcake" or "Pinhead." Happy Valentine's Day!

He betrayed his kind...

Happy early Valentine's Day!

What the hell?

I really just don't know what to think of this. Ponder the strangeness of this trailer while you await the exciting recap of my recent trip to my parents house!

Yeah Coraline!

My second film of 2009 is also my second 3-D film of 2009: Coraline! Of course I had to go see it by myself, but I was surrounded by screaming children for whom the film was too scary and a bunch of 18 year of Dungeons and Dragons masters who have it hard for Neil Gaiman, so I really wasn't alone. It was great. I really loved it. Unfortunately I don't have time to write about it now because I am on my way to Lafayette to help that cursed store once more. Check out the Vault of Horror's top 20 list of foreign horror while you await my return ( I am talking to my one reader.) Why oh why couldn't "Let the Right One In" get better distribution?

Reader's guilt

I thought I had hit a low with the "Twilight" books, but now I am totally addicted to the Sookie Stackhouse mysteries by Charlaine Harris. These are the books that HBO's "True Blood" is based on. My friend Carla gave me the first two for Christmas and my mother, who is obsessed with all things vampire (and she doesn't even like horror films) gave me the rest. There are like 20 of them! They all concern Sookie Stackhouse, a telepathic waitress who keeps getting mixed up with vampires. And by "mixed up" I mean sleeping with them. So they are a bit like "Twilight," only rated NC-17. In any case, there goes my plans to finally read "War and Peace" this month. I will wait until "War and Peace and Zombies" comes out, which I am sure is any day now.

My Weak in Horror.

Finally broke down and saw "Saw V," which is the first of the Saw franchise I did not see in the theatre. And I am telling you, you really don't "lose" anything by seeing it on the small screen. In fact, at home I could cover my face during the gory parts without the shame of strangers seeing me be such a wimp. I am sorry, seeing people crushed to death by metal walls gives me the "yucks." "Saw V" is not "scary." None of the Saw films really are. The first one, which remains a favorite of mine, was innovative and different, with a great twist at the end.
They have repeated the formula 4 more times with varying levels of success. This entry is no different. The "traps" have been toned down a bit. They are still gory, but not as imaginative as previous ones (a personal favorite "trap" is the one where the cop has metal rods attached to her ribcage which will tear them apart unless she gets the key to unlock the trap, which is of course at the bottom of a vat of acid. She has one minute to do all of this. Needless to say, there is gore involved.) I watched this film with a friend who had never seen the other Saw films, and I had to explain quite a bit of backstory, which I felt pretty silly doing.

The other horror film I watched this week was "Repo: The Genetic Opera." The director of this film is responsible for 3 of the Saw films, so I guess you would consider this his "art" flick. I found myself getting bored and drifting off into la-la land during the middle of this movie, which you wouldn't think would happen during a futuristic, gory rock-opera about organ harvesting starring Paris Hilton. But I did. Kudo's to the director and creators of "Repo" though. It is really something different. I can't say I really "liked" it (la-la land) but I appreciate the newness of it all. I have never seen an entire horror film done in sing-song.

More Winter.

Poor Fucker. Sorry for the profanity but that was the first thought that popped into my head when I saw this photo!

Happy Super Bowl

I am going to make my husband this monstrosity to enjoy on game day. It is a sausage and bacon loaf. That is all there is to it: Sausage and Bacon. You can find the recipe at: http://www.bbqaddicts.com/bacon-explosion.html. My arteries are hardening just thinking about it. Yum-o. He can eat that while I am watching the "Puppy Bowl" on Animal Planet. You know what would make the "Puppy Bowl" awesome? Zombies.