Hell Night 1981

 There is nothing I love more than a good old Eighties Slasher.  I almost hate to admit it, but it's the era I grew up it.  I was raised on a steady diet of all types of horror films, but it's the Slasher I return to again and again.  Since Slashers were cheap to make and popular, there are a lot of them floating around.  Most of them very, very bad.  Typically, the crappier the film, the more I like it.  I was expecting Hell Night from 1981 to be awful.  I was wrong (not the first time.)

Despite the fact that Linda Blair rocks the worst Victorian up do bun that I have ever seen throughout the film, it is actually pretty good.  A Fraternity is putting it's pledges though a hazing known as Hell Night.  The pledges have to spend the night at the Gothic Garth Manor, site a horrific murder/suicide 12 years prior.  The demented patriarch, Raymond Garth, murdered his wife and children in the Manor.  He then killed himself.  The only problem is that the Police never found Raymond's body, nor that of his youngest son, the mute Andrew.  Rumor has it, Andrew still lives in the Manor. 

Of course he does!  You know it! Actually it's a pretty good back story, well fleshed out for a cheapo Slasher.  The Fraternity only has four pledges: Marti (Blair), Jeff (Peter Barton, who is so pretty I couldn't stand it.  He looks like a male Carol Alt.  I wasn't surprised to learn he spent the rest of his career in the Soaps), Seth, and Denise are the pledges.  Yes, it is a little weird that this is a male/female Fraternity but go with it!



Luckily the Scooby Gang brought drugs and booze to get them through the night.  Before long they start hearing screams throughout the manor.  When they go to investigate they realize that members of the Fraternity have "rigged" the house to scare them.  This sounds like a pretty good Fraternity!  Sign me up.

Everything is going along very well until the kids start really dying.  I mean, they start getting their heads chopped off!  The fun and games are over when the remaining pledges must fight to stay alive from the unseen terror lurking in the house.....

Oh, there you are terror!  Wouldn't you know it, it's Andrew, and he is super pissed.  I mean, he watched his whole family die, and now he has to put up with Linda Blair's whining!  I would go on a murderous rampage too!

Hell Night looks great.  The set design is fantastic.  Andrew is really scary looking, and the Director, Tom De Simone, really knows how to build tension.  Linda Blair's character is kind of an annoying Buzz Kill, but she finally flashes her Final Girl card at the end.  I was in the mood for a "so bad it's good" Slasher and I got a "well, that's pretty good" Slasher.  Lucky for me, there are plenty of bad Slashers out there, and I am sure it won't be long before I encounter my next one.

Warning: Hell Night has no boobs in it, if that is your thing.  Linda Blair has quite an impressive rack, but that hair! Oh God, that hair!

Wolf Creek

Wolf Creek, the Australian horror film that was released in 2005, is as brutal and disturbing as you may have heard.  No, I am not going all Roger Ebert on this -- I thought it was brilliant and scary.  After seeing a series of "fun" horror films (you know what I am talking about) and documentaries I was ready for a hard and dirty pic.  I got what I wished for with Wolf Creek.

"Based" on true events (the Backpacker murders from the 1990s and the murder of Peter Falconio in 2001), Wolf Creek, on the surface, is a typical slasher film.  Three backpackers get lost and are soon being hunted by a maniac killer.  The difference here is the setting, the Australian outback, the victims, three likable people that I wanted to see live, and the killer, who doesn't let his sense of humor overshadow the fact that he is a menacing, scary son of a bitch.  Director Greg Mclean gives us a slow build, allowing the audience time to get to know the backpackers.  Two Brits, Kristy and Liz, hook up with Australian stud Ben.  They decide to travel together to Wolf Creek, the site of a meteorite impact.  Returning from the site they find that their car won't start.  As they prepare to spend the night hunkered down, a man approaches with a tow truck.  He offers to help the trio fix their car, but first he must tow it back to his ranch.  As you can imagine, bad things happen.

Really bad things, like spines being severed and fingers cut off.  The backpacker that we are led to believe will be the "Final Girl" does the typical "investigating" to establish the fact that the kindly tow truck driver has done this sort of thing before.  Before you can say "They are Fucked" the blood starts to flow.  This film is more brutal than gory, if that makes any kind of sense.  We like the victims, and we "think" we like the tow truck driver as well, even though we know all along he is up to no good.  He is funny and has some great one liners.  But when the killing starts it is almost like he turns on us, the audience.  His is sadistic and relentless.  It is not funny at all.

The ending is quite interesting. There is one survivor, and what happens to the survivor directly relates to the Falconio case.  Also, the exact fate of one of the victims is not clear, although it can't be good.  It is set up for a sequel, but I really hope there isn't one.  As much as I enjoyed (?) this film, I really don't want to spend anymore time with this particular bad guy.  He is too real and scary, just like this film.  Highly recommended.

Friday the 13th Part 2: the Eighties were awesome!

It's my day off, its hot as hell, and I am super LAZY!  Perfect day to watch the little known gem, Friday the 13th Part II.

For some reason I have been hearing a lot about this flick lately, and its like the horror Gods wanted me to watch it.  I had seen it when I was a kid, but I only had hazy memories of the chick from April Fool's Day being in it and a guy in a wheelchair getting killed.  This film is so much more!  It features one hell of an awesome Final Girl, an overlong flashback sequence, and a guy in a wheelchair getting killed!

Amy Steel plays Ginny, a camp counselor/psychology major who is probably saved from getting killed in the first 20 minutes because she is on her period.  Ginny and her boyfriend Paul, who runs the camp, are training a new group of counselors.  The only thing they should really train them is "Don't have sex" and "make sure when you hit a guy with a machete that the fucker is dead!"  But they don't train them these things.  They train them to push each other in the water and have cook-outs.  It's awesome!  Paul tells the counselors the story of Jason and Camp Crystal Lake, which is nearby.  Paul thinks Jason is an Urban Legend, as do the rest of the counselors.  Ginny is not so sure.  It doesn't take Ginny long to get proven right as Jason (sans hockey mask, that comes later) starts killing left and right. 

My favorite part of this film is the Eighties fashions.  All the guys look like they are dressing for the Gay Pride Parade and all of the chicks look like they stepped out of an American Apparel ad.  Shorts that tight are not comfortable!!

I don't think I need to explain much more about Friday the 13th Part II.  It follows, and in many cases pioneered, many familiar horror tropes. There are a few good jump scares, a few to many red herrings, and very little gore.  But I loved it like I love most slashers.  They are like comfort food to me.  Bless you Steve Miner and Amy Steel and Betsy Palmer and everyone else.  You made my hot lazy day.