Hatchet 2

 Adam Green, I really, really want to like your films.  You seem like a cool guy, you are very knowledgeable about the horror genre and you even like cats!  But I have not liked a single one of your films.  Hatchet was a let down, Frozen jumped the shark with the wolves, and Hatchet 2 took me two weeks to watch. 

So it pains me to write this review (not as much as it pained me to watch the movie, and not nearly as much as it will pain you, my dear reader, to read my review.)  Lets start with the positive: some of the kills were quite inventive.  My favorite was the doggie style beheading.  See the film and you will know what I am talking about.  The gore effects are good, and Tony Todd gives it his all (as usual) as Reverend Zombie, the Voodoo master/charlatan who has a strong, financial reason to clear the swamp of the dreaded Victor Crowley.

Now to the bad: the film was really boring.  Danielle Harris plays Marybeth, the only survivor from the first film.  She leads a ragtag group of hunters back in to the swamp to gather the remains of her family and kill Victor Crowley for good.  No one she brings with her is very interesting with the exception of Reverend Zombie.  Tom Holland, Director of Fright Night and Child's Play has a role as Marybeth's Uncle, whom Zombie requested join the group.  His character is not interesting, it just interesting that Green got Holland to do the film. 

Green gives Crowley some more back story, and Kane Hodder returns as both Victor and his Father.  It is made clear in this film that Crowley is actually a ghost: a very pissed off ghost that can kill people.  Why Marybeth or Zombie thinks they can shut him down for good is beyond me.  In any case, this is the Green explains why Crowley can't be killed and what distinguishes it from other slasher films.

Frozen was a big improvement over Hatchet (and much better than Hatchet 2) and I look forward to seeing Green's next film.  I just hope it isn't another Hatchet.  He was heading in the right direction with Frozen.  Keep heading in that direction Mr. Green.

Hatchet

Hatchet, directed by Adam Green, promises to be a return to "Old school American horror."  I am not even sure what that means.  Universal era monsters?  60's and 70's genre films like Rosemary's Baby and The Exorcist?  Slashers from the 80's?  I think Director Adam Green is going for the later.  And although his heart is clearly in the right place, Hatchet is a little too jokey to be "Old School."  It's more like a "homage" that is a little more scary and authentic than the Scream films.

Here's the set-up.  Two friends (Joel Moore as Ben and Deon Richmond as Marcus) decided to take a "Haunted Swamp Tour" while they are visiting New Orleans during Mardi Gras.  On the tour they meet Marybeth, a local who is taking the tour to find her lost Brother and Father.  Also on the tour is a guy shooting a "Girls Gone Wild" type porno with two ditsy actresses, one of whom is played by Mercedes McNab, who was the bitchy little girl scout in the Addams Family films.  I had to throw that in there because it was driving me crazy trying to figure out where I had seen her before. 

Marybeth tells everyone the legend of Victor Crowley, the deformed, demented man-child that haunts the swamp.  Crowley doesn't take too kindly to strangers invading his space, and wouldn't you know it he has a taste for killing.

Crowley is played by the AWESOME Kane Hodder.  Hodder also has a rare, non make-up role as Crowley's father. 

Long story short, there is a lot "death by hatchet" scenes and running around the swamp while the unstoppable monster keeps on coming.  The best part of this film is the humor.  It is hysterical at times.  The gore is also totally over the top--always a good thing.  I was more in the mood for a "true" old school horror flick, so I was a bit disappointed.  But it really did like this flick and I am looking forward to seeing Adam Green's next, much more serious looking film, Frozen.  I will probably see that in about two years, f-ing On Demand and Blockbuster Exclusives and theaters that won't play horror.