Hellraiser III: Hell on earth

There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.

There are some things in this world I just can't believe, like the fact that Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth was made in 1992.  I actually remember 1992 and I don't recall it being as eighties-rific as this film.  I mean in one scene, Terry Farrell, who plays Investigative Journalist and Final Girl Joey, wears some kind of polka dot shoulder pad/balloon pants combo on an outing and I don't think she was wearing it to be ironic since I don't think her character is capable of irony. 

But I digress.  Let's get to the matter at hand.  Hellraiser III did not totally suck.  Yes, the classic Cenobites (save Pinhead) are MIA, replaced by new ones that kill with CD's and cocktail shakers.  I kid you not.  I guess this was filmed in the nineties, otherwise the CD Cenobite would have been killing people with cassette tapes and 8 track. 

The aforementioned Joey is trying to land a big story. While covering the emergency room beat, she witnesses a young man with chains attached to his body brought in.  He quickly explodes.  Joey, sensing that she might be on to something (smart girl) tracks down the young girl who brought him in.  She is a club girl named Terri and she is in possession of a mysterious box, which she claims is responsible for the young mans death.  The young man stole the box from club owner J.P., played by Kevin Bernhardt who would have had a great career as an eighties uber-villian.  J.P. is the owner of the "Pillar of Souls," a really cool piece of goth art that houses Pinhead and, apparently, some souls.  J.P., who is a class A asshole, unleashes Pinhead and a whirlwind of shit ensues. 

Meanwhile, Joey has shacked up with Terri (I can't tell if they were having a lesbian affair or not, but it is suggested) and she starts having dreams of an Army Officer who looks a lot like Pinhead, minus the pins.  This Oficer tells her that she must send Pinhead back to hell and forget about her career as a journalist because she is really terrible.  We see a lot of Doug Bradley in this film, both as Pinhead and his human self.  This is probably why I liked the film, because of Bradley.  The gore is surprisingly subdued, and as I said the other Cenobites are sorely missed, but compared to some of the other Hellraiser films, this one is not half bad.  The majority of the action takes place in J.P.'s club, The Boiler Room.  This is the coolest club in existence.  Not only does it have awesome goth art and goth kids everywhere, there is a room with a live eighties Metal band, and another room with a sophisticated restaurant with classical music.  Plus, if you go there is a very real chance that you will get slaughtered and/or turned into a deadly CD wielding Cenobite.  Cool beans.  Now enjoy some Legos.