The Road: The feel good movie of the year!!

No, I lie. This movie is so depressing that it makes Leaving Las Vegas look like The Sound of Music. It is quite difficult for me to review this film because I love the novel so very much. "The Road" has to be one of my top favorite books of all time. I have read it a couple of times, and bought copies of it for people. Most of those people said "What did you buy me this depressing shit for?" My Father had a hard time finishing the book. It made me fall in love with the work of Cormac McCarthy. I knew deep down that any film adaptation would just not hold up.

And I was right. Now, I don't hate the film at all. It is quite interesting and filled with really fantastic performances by Viggo Mortensen and Kodi Smit-McPhee and the Father and Son. Visually, the Director and Cinematographer captured the essence of McCarthy's book. This is a bleak wasteland- what one would imagine hell looks like. The violence and tension are there, particularly during the scene where the Father and Son uncover the horror hiding in the cellar, a section of the book that gave me heart palpitations.

What is missing is the heart of the novel. It is so hard to translate these feelings onto film. Director John Hillcoat certainly tries. We see the boy upset with his Father for not helping fellow travelers. We see the Father agonize over whether or not to kill his son. We see the boy praying, and not being quite sure what that means. And these scenes provoke emotion, but if you have read the book they just seem to fall flat, which is usually the trouble with screen adaptations. With few exceptions (Silence of the Lambs, the original TV Salem's Lot) the film never equals or surpasses the novel. I might have really loved this film had I never read the novel. As it is, I just have to say it was OK. I did enjoy hearing McCarthy's prose read by Mortensen, and Robert Duvall has an incredible, Oscar worthy cameo.

In my opinion The Road, both the film and the novel, qualify as horror. Some of the these images I will never forget. But do yourself a favor: read the book. I have a copy I could send you.....

The Amazing Screw-on Head

I have had The Amazing Screw-on Head in my Netflix queue for so long I had completely forgotten about it. In fact, I had no idea why I put it in there at all or what it even was. Then I saw the words "Mike Mignola" on the sleeve and I remembered: I must have put this on after seeing Hellboy. This animated short (22 minutes) was a pilot created for the (then) Sci-Fi channel in 2006. It is based of the single issue comic of the same name created by Mignola in 2002. The show was never picked up, which is fine, because this episode is just about perfect.

Screw-on Head is a robot (voiced my Paul Giamatti) who works for the Lincoln Administration (as in Abraham Lincoln.) Lincoln assigns Screw-on Head the task of hunting down Emperor Zombie. Zombie was a former Manservant of Screw-on Head, whose "taste for ancient, forbidden knowledge" led him to the dark side. And somehow made him into a Zombie. Zombie now views Screw-on Head as his rival and he has a "petty vengeance fetish" against all of Screw's subsequent Manservants.

Assisting Emperor Zombie is a cannibal, a werewolf, a mummy, and Patience, Screw's former love whom Zombie had turned into a vampire. This sets up the worlds first Zombie/Robot/Vampire love triangle. Take that Stephanie Meyer. Screw-on head and his Manservant (the 7th since Zombie) track the motley crew to the Temple of Gung, where Zombie plans on summoning a Demigod. The Demigod is a weird frog/dog combo that looks to be straight out of HP Lovecraft.

Obviously I loved this. How could you not love something that combines Zombies, Werewolves, Robots, Vampires, Cannibals, and Abraham Lincoln. It's like Night at the Museum directed by Wes Craven. Highly Recommended.

All I want for Christmas is Nosferatu

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The hunt is on for a copy of Werner Herzog's version of Nosferatu starring the totally bat-shit crazy Klaus Kinski. I am in the midst of a Herzog obsession. He is also quite crazy and a genius. His next film is a horror film called My Son, My Son, what have ye done? With a title like that you know it's going to be good.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving Day everyone. Now, don't let the fact that the video is from "Dr. Quinn" scare you off. It is the late, great Mr. Cash and his beautiful wife. Enjoy!

5 nice things I have to say about "New Moon", and then I am never going to speak of this film again.

1. The soundtrack features a pretty good song by Thom Yorke
2. The bad vampire chick has pretty hair
3. It is pretty funny that Bella takes "Virgin Air" to rescue Edward
4. Some pretty good looking guys take their shirts off
5. Possible drinking game: a shot every time good looking guy takes his shirt off.

Twilight: New Moon Alternate Trailer 3 of 4 - watch more funny videos

Ms. Horror Blogosphere Entry

Believe it or not I was asked to enter the Ms. Horror Blogosphere contest! A last minute addition. Better late for the party than to not show up at all. If you are so inclined please cast a vote here:

http://thevaultofhorror.blogspot.com/

Voting starts today at 2pm.....

And check out my interview here:
http://thevaultofhorror.blogspot.com/2009/11/ms-horror-blogosphere-entry-21.html


Wait, who the hell is Jennifer Golden? Despite all my learnin I can't get my email account to update to my new last name....

Thanks to B-Sol at "The Vault of Horror" for including me with all of these awesome ladies!

Happy Birthday Karloff!

Boris Karloff (real name: William Henry Pratt) was born on this day in 1887. Pierre Fournier over at "Frankensteinia" http://frankensteinia.blogspot.com/ is hosting a week long Karloff Blogathon. Check out participating blogs over at the site. That is, if you can tear yourself away from the non-stop Twilight coverage........

The Crazies

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It's like Christmas come early!!! The original (guess which one) was made in 1973 an was directed by my hero, George A. Romero. The A stands for awesome. I am going to bed now.

I heart Wrong Turn....

Where the hell was I in 2003 when this film came out? It was great! And I am so proud of myself that I correctly guessed who was going to die. The order in which their name appears on the poster is always a pretty good indicator. If you are not featured on the poster: you are going to die. If your name is Jeremy Sisto: you are going to die. Second female lead: die. It is pretty much the same concept that if you do drugs or have sex you are going to die. By the way, the people that do drugs and have sex in this movie die. It's really very straightforward.

And that is why I love this film: it is old school, 70s throwback horror. Four people, lost in the woods, stalked by cannibals. It's as pure as Ivory soap. If you find yourself trapped in a car graveyard: chances are you are going to die.

So Wrong Turn is the story of these 4 youngsters who, believe or not, are not total tools, despite the fact that one of the chicks is wearing her yoga gear on a camping trip. After a car accident and some mysteriously placed barb wire disable both of their cars, the Scooby Gang go off in search of help. By the way, this all takes place in West Virginia. If your car breaks down in West Virginia: you get the idea.

The first house they come to is inhabited by inbred cannibals!!! I really love the inbred cannibal genre. In fact, inbred cannibals rank right up there my other favorite monsters: Zombies. Inbred cannibals ususually have a little bit more personality than Zombies, and they can play a mean banjo. But since I doubt the end of the world will be brought on by the rising of inbred cannibals, I have to go with Zombies as my all time fave. OMG: The Road, which comes out soon and was written by my favorite Author who is not named Poe or Lovecraft, also features inbred cannibals. Really just cannibals, but it's the end of the world and I am sure there is some inbreeding going on. McCarthy just didn't get around to that part.

Back to Wrong Turn. After some nice, tense scenes in the inbred cannibal house of horror (will not be featured in Better Homes and Gardens anytime soon) we are treated to quite a bit of running around in the woods, a beautiful (I am not shitting you) watchtower scene, and the best tree work since Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. This movie moves along at a nice, jazzy pace, features characters you care about, has quite a bit of gore (head trauma!) and has a pretty satisfying ending. Unfortunately, I did not dream about inbred cannibals (damn Godzilla/Zombie hybrid reoccurring dream! I am sick of you and you don't make any sense!), but I did cover my eyes during the film and I liked it enough to watch the special features. Watch them if you are a fan of the late, great Stan Winston. It's groovy to see him talk about why he loves horror.

Next up: Wrong Turn 2: The one with Henry Rollins.

Wrong Turn- coming soon...

It was a hard day at work and tonight I am going to relax by watching Wrong Turn, which I have never seen before. There is nothing like inbred cannibals to take the edge off a rough day. Here is the movie description from my Netflix envelope:

License to Drive meets Deliverance when Scott (Desmond Harrington-hot guy

from Dexter) crashes into a carload of three other young people

(Eliza Dushku-hot chick from Buffy, Jeremy Sisto- one of my

horror crushes, and Emmanuelle Chriqui-I don't know who she is).

The foursome is soon lost in the woods of West Virginia,

where they're hunted by three cannibalistic mountain

men who are grossly disfigured via generations of

inbreeding. Should've called AAA!

I love it when they make jokes on Netflix envelopes. Look for what I am sure is going to be a wildly positive review on these here pages soon.

I am just guessing but I bet Emmanuelle Chriqui and Jeremy Sisto die. Just a guess.

Twilight: New Moon- the year's best comedy?

This review by Massawyrm over at "Ain't it cool News" actually makes me WANT to see this flick. Check it out: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/43130 This really has potential to be "so bad it's good." I am really AM going to go see it, Monday night with family females. For some reason my Husband does not want to go. Will I be the only Horror Blogger to actually see this? Can't wait for the reviews to start rolling in...

To cleanse my soul after seeing this film which for some reason I cannot name (shame?) I am going to see Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans by the great Werner Herzog. Did you know he ate a shoe? Really, check him out. http://www.wernerherzog.com/main/index.htm

Phantasm II

The nice thing about having the Black Plague is that I am able to catch up on some movie watchin'. Today, after finishing Dexter Season 3 (awesome) I finally watched Phantasm II.

The first Phantasm is a very important film for me. It is one of the first horror films I remember watching. My Mother had dropped me off at some friends of hers for babysitting (or maybe just a visit, the ol' memory is cloudy.) This house I was at was, for lack of a better word, a junk house. By that I mean that they had multiple TV's, stacked on top of each other, and only one worked. Playing on that one was Phantasm. All I remember about the film was the mortuary, the Tall Man, the Silver Sphere, and of course, the finger in yellow goo. I am sure I had nightmares all week. I have no idea what age I was but I know that Angus Scrimm replaced Frankenstein's Monster as my go-to boogieman.

Years later, as an adult and with my own working and non-working TV's, I watched Phantasm again. Know what? It's a damn good movie! And scary too! I was quite excited to finally get my hands on Phantasm II. Little did I know that I had seen this one before too! I have no specific memory attached to this one, but I do remember the drinking Priest and the really weird sex scene involving Reggie.

After watching Cannibal Holocaust, this film was really a delight. No Penis! Phantasm II picks up where the first film left off. Reggie rescues Mike from the Tall Man, only to see him committed to a mental hospital. Cut to 10 years later. Mike is having dreams about a girl named Liz. He doesn't know her but he knows he must save her. He talks his way out of the hospital and goes in search of Liz and the Tall Man, with good ole Reggie as a sidekick. The duo go from town to town in search of the deadly Mortician. Along the way they pick up a hitchhiker (weird sex scene with Reggie) and rescue Liz. They are soon dodging silver spheres and fighting dwarfs. It's like a perfect movie.

Angus Scrimm as the Tall Man is SCARY!! And he has a habit of popping out of nowhere. Between him, the dwarfs (which are compacted dead people) and the silver spheres, I am guaranteed at least one good nightmare! Which is good, because lately I have been having a strange Godzilla/Zombie combo nightmare. It's not as awesome as it sounds.

Dread

Well, this just looks awful, and not because one of the guys from Twilight is in it. The short story this is based on is from Clive Barker's Books of Blood and I am telling you that NONE of the characters in that story look as douchey as the people in this movie. I don't need to pay money to watch a bunch of quasi-intellectual a-holes trying to be hip by dressing like homeless people grapple with the moral issues of good and evil. I can walk across the street to the Stanford Quad and watch that for free. Sorry, this trailer pissed me off. But I do like the use of the Deftones song.

RIP: Edward Woodward...

If you have never seen it, do yourself a favor and watch the original The Wicker Man. Total awesomeness. Edward Woodward was also The Equalizer- vigilante old man justice at its best.

Cannibal Holocaust: With 100% more Penis than "Up"

Forgive me if I make less sense than usual: I still have the plague. But nothing, and I mean nothing, will stop me from writing about Cannibal Holocaust and then being through with it forever!!! Cannibal Holocaust is about a professor, Harold Monroe, who travels to "primitive Amazonia" to track down 4 documentarians who have gone missing. These documentary filmmakers, who are named Alan, Faye, Jack, and Mark (there will be a test later) traveled to the "green inferno," an area so ghastly that no white man has ever returned from it. It is so horrible because...... wait for it......... Cannibals live there!!! Yes, Virginia, there are Cannibals in Cannibal Holocaust, along with a whole lot of penis. But more on that later. Monroe survives the green inferno, despite looking like he is coming down from a crack high, and he finds not only the remains of the 4 idiots, but their film canisters. This is the first part of the film. In this section we see: 1 animal killed (for real,) countless boobies, one scene of cannibalism, and two penises, including Monroe's. The actor playing him, Robert Kerman, was a porn star, so it was natural for him to pull it out.

The second half of the film is the reveal of the film footage. We get to know Alan (who looks like Rick Springfield,) Faye, Jack, and Mark, and we quickly come to the conclusion that they are total douchbags and deserve to get eaten!!! Wish fulfilled!! But not until we see 4 more animals killed (again, for real,) more penis and boobies, a whole lot of raping, and a girl impaled on a wooden pole (the iconic image above.) Monroe and the suits of the network that were considering airing this footage decide to burn it, and we are left with the question: who are the real cannibals?

I was left with the question: Why didn't I realize there was an "animal cruelty-free" version of this film on the DVD? The animal killing is really graphic and awful. I felt like saying a little prayer for each and every one. Thank God he didn't kill the sloth or I would have turned it off right there and then. The director, Ruggero Deodato, says he now regrets "getting animals involved." I guess the reasoning behind it is if the audience knew that the animals were really getting killed, then they might think that the humans were really getting killed. In fact, Deodato had to prove that the actors were still alive and he didn't make a snuff film. He did get busted for the animal cruelty, so there is a little justice.

Having gotten that out of the way, I have to say I liked this film. It, of course, predates "Blair Witch" and "Paranormal Activity" in the "found footage" genre, which I happen to enjoy. It also belongs to the "cannibalism genre," which I am not that familiar with. Thank goodness for Netflix and an understanding husband. The film is interesting and there is tension throughout. I wanted to keep watching it, despite all of the horrible things onscreen. My advice to Cannibal Holocaust virgins is: if you think you want to watch it, watch the cruelty-free version. You don't miss anything. Make sure there are not animals or children around. Please don't be stoned, you don't need extra paranoia while viewing this. And finally, get ready for a whole lot of unnecessary penis.

Cannibal Holocaust: correction

I have been informed that the film I reviewed in the previous post was not Cannibal Holocaust but was indeed the Disney/Pixar animated release UP. This would explain the surprising lack of cannibalism in the film. I apologize for the inconvenience. I offer two explanations for my mistake: 1: I have contracted the Black Plague and my thinking is confused. And 2: My fragile plaque-addled mind could not handle the actual film Cannibal Holocaust and therefore I engaged in some kind of film transference. Look for an actual, profanity ridden post about Cannibal Holocaust in the near future. Now I must go back to bed.

Cannibal Holocaust

I survived watching Cannibal Holocaust. I really don't know what the big fuss is about. It is actually quite a delightful film. Cannibal Holocaust is the story of a grumpy old geezer named Carl Fredricksen who has been recently widowed. He decides to full fill his lifelong dream to going to "Paradise Falls" to search for the famed (and lost) explorer Charles F. Muntz. Attaching millions of helium balloons to his house, Carl flies away, with only a picture of his beloved wife Ellie to keep him company. Or so he thinks! A stowaway, in the form of an overeager Wilderness Scout named Russell, is hiding on his front porch. Together, Carl and Russell make it to "Paradise Falls," where they encounter exotic birds, talking dogs, untold danger, and finally, the famed explorer, who may not be the hero that Carl thought. Along the way they learn a little something about friendship and integrity. I tell you, I was bawling my eyes out. I highly recommend watching Cannibal Holocaust. It is a film for the kid in all of us.

I don't know why they named it Cannibal Holocaust. Perhaps the title in an allegory for how we can sabotage our own dreams through inaction or lethargy... Its beyond me.

Ladies film night: Cannibal Holocaust

So the hubby is going to the 49er game tonight. I am going to settle myself in, pour a nice glass of wine, and watch Cannibal Holocaust: a film I have been avoiding for years. Warning: this trailer is messed up!! Sorry if you watched it before reading my warning. You can curse my name while you are throwing up. Really, I love the music in this trailer: it makes me think that this film is a spiritual journey of self-discovery. Which perhaps it is. With Cannibals. Watch for my insightful review coming up on these pages in the next few days!!!

Clash of the Titans....

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Clash of the Titans scared the S-H-I-T out of me as a little kid. I mean, Laurence Oliver is SCARY!!! It also made me fall in love with the work of one Ray Harryhausen (although his fighting skeletons in Jason and the Argonauts gave me the most nightmares.) This trailer for the remake, despite it's attempts to make it look like 300 with monsters, is pretty impressive. It doesn't look like a crappy CGI fest like The Mummy remake or the upcoming, oft-troubled Wolfman redo. Plus, it has Sam Worthington, who could kick Harry Hamlin's ass any day.

I might go see this....

Love affair with Coffin Joe: OVER!

You would think a film with a name like Strange Hostel of Naked Pleasure would be pretty good. Well, you would be wrong. Although not an "official" Coffin Joe film, this little ditty from 1976 features Jose Mojica Marins playing his iconic character, the Brazilian Boogyman.

Where do I start on this psychedelic mess? Here is a quick overview, which I actually had to get help on from Wikipedia because even though I watched the film, I still had no idea what it was about. Marins plays a mysterious character whom, in the beginning of the film, is "raised" from his coffin during an elaborate voodoo ceremony. This is what it takes to raise someone from the dead:

1. 3 shirtless bongo players
2. 10 semi-naked stoned chicks who are "dancing" to choreography that looks like something I could of put together when I was 5 years old..
3. 1 Witchy Priestess who shows up during the last few minutes to look concerned
4. 4 guys dressed as female gorillas
5. Lots of pastel drapery.

That's it. For your trouble you get Coffin Joe, who starts spouting bullshit the minute he wakes up!! No wonder the Priestess looks concerned.

Given the first few minutes you would think I would LOVE this flick. It's like Beyond the Valley of the Dolls but made by people on a REALLY bad trip. Turns out Coffin Joe now runs the creepiest Hostel in Brazil. He is very picky about his guests: he turns away some although there is plenty of room, while others that he accepts seem to already have a reservation, even though they are random travellers seeking shelter from the storm. We are treated to about 30 minutes of a Love Boat style "meet the guests" sequence. They include: 4 gamblers, a perfectly nice couple that just want to get it on, an adulterous couple that just want to fight, 4 businessmen (or are they gamblers, I just couldn't figure this out,) 5 guys who just pulled off a jewel heist, and about 20 stoned hippie bikers. If I am trying to check into a hotel and Coffin Joe is the guy who gives me my key, I would run in the other direction, even if I was a stoned hippie biker. Anyway, the next hour of the film is like Fantasy Island (Aaron Spelling would be so proud) but with a lot more nudity. We see these douchbags gamble, plot, argue, have sex (trust me, not as awesome as it sounds) and have a drunken orgy (again, not as awesome as it sounds.) The drunken orgy is my favorite part of the film, not because I am a perv, but because it is hysterical. The editors re-use the same 8 shots about 20 different times. Look, there is the blond chick's boobs again. Look, there is the guy in pink pants falling on the floor! Look, the chick in yellow shorts is shaking her butt! Blood chick's boobs again! This goes on forever!!! The whole time everyone is shouting "Everyone naked-great!" "Everyone naked-great!" So much so that I am sure I woke up in the middle of the night shouting "Everyone naked-great!" With my husband out of town the only one to hear me was the cat, and he looked totally disgusted (as usual.)

I won't ruin the end for you but I promise: it does end. I was so pissed off at the end of this flick I took Marins off my horror crush list (yes, he was on it.) Give me a few days to calm down and I am sure I will forgive Coffin Joe. After all, he didn't direct this flick (although he wrote and produced it) and 1976 was a weird time. I should know. I was 2.

I forgot the 15 gyrating men! How could I forget that!!!

A look at my inner Sci-Fi geek courtesty of V

When I was a kid the original V was a very important, indeed life altering show for me. See, it was my first experience with pop cultural obsession (Donny Osmond doesn't count) and as such, I was completely bonkers about it. To this day (and I just watched all the re-runs on "SyFy") I don't know what the attraction was. Could it be I liked the fact that it showed a culturally and economically diverse group of people banding together to fight a common enemy? Doubtful, since I was 10 and most likely still playing with Barbies (I was like an only child for Christ sakes!!!)Was it the horror element? I mean, these bad ass aliens were really lizards and they were here to eat us!!! If that is not horror I don't know what is. Was it Marc Singer, the Beastmaster? I may never know why this show touched me, but touched me it did, so much so that my parents called me up and asked if I was going to watch the "update." Of course I am watching it!! And guess what? It was pretty good. No, I am not going to run out and start writing fan fiction or obsessively staying home and watching it on Tuesday nights (which is usually the night I watch Gossip Girl.) But, the remake captured the spirit of the original: and the V's are a lot sexier this time out (or do I think so because I am 35 and not 10?) And it features a priest who is already starting to question his faith and most likely will have sex with the female lead played by Elizabeth Mitchell from Lost. My only concern is that rumor has it the Visitors are not here to eat us. That was the best part of the original!! Can't they want to eat us just a little??

Despite my love for V, and Star Wars and Star Trek, I did not turn into a Sci-Fi geek. Somewhere in my youth, or childhood (Sound of Music reference) I turned a dark corner and walked down horror alley and I have never found my way out. For the best really, I tried to watch Battlestar Gallactica and I just kept getting annoyed.

Trick r Treat

Yes, I am a little late on the Trick 'r Treat bandwagon. Yes, it is 6 days after Halloween (it is always Halloween in my heart) and yes, on not one but TWO occasions I watched Gossip Girl instead of this flick. But forgive my past transgressions, I have finally seen the film that is kicking Chuck Brown's ass off my DVD list for Halloween.

It was B-Sol over at The Vault of Horror that called this film "It's a Wonderful Life" for adults. Check out his review at: http://thevaultofhorror.blogspot.com/2009/10/trick-r-treat-its-wonderful-life-for.html He is right: This is OUR Holiday classic. Yes, we already have a few: a little flick by John Carpenter and for Zombiephiles (a word I accept as existing) a nice little piece by Romero, but THIS film is about our memories and traditions of Halloween and, as a bonus, its scary!!

Trick 'r Treat is an interwoven anthology film, originally shot with each story as a stand alone, and then edited so that they all tie together. If you didn't know this you probably wouldn't even notice it, but I thought that, at least in the first half of the film, the editing was a little off. THAT is my only complaint. Cinematography, score, set design, acting: all top notch. Especially, in that last category, the performance of Dylan Baker, one of my fave actors. He is creepy and funny here as a High School Principal with a very dark secret....

Everyone has a dark secret in this small town in Ohio where the action takes place. Frankly, I want to live there. They have a kick ass Halloween parade and an awesome little mascot named SAM who makes sure everyone follows the Halloween rules. Which are:

1. Check your candy
2. Wear a Costume
3. Hand out candy to Trick or Treaters..
4. Never, never blow out a Jack o Lantern before midnight.

I did not know that last one. Could explain the blood that was dripping down my windows all night.. Back to the flick. Four stories are told here: The Dylan Baker messed up Principal story, the Anna Paquin "Little Red Riding Hood" story, the "Halloween School Bus Massacre" story, and finally, SAM vs. Brian Cox, an alcoholic old geezer who does not follow the Halloween rules.

Need I say more? Rent or buy this!! If I labeled my posts you could go back and watch Season's Greetings, the animated short by Director Michael Dougherty that this film is based on. Since I am lazy and I don't label my posts, check it out on that YouTube site.

This is about as close as I will get to seeing the new Saw flick

Paranormal Saw - watch more funny videos

There are a shitload of "Paranormal Activity" parodies out there, and after watching all of them (I am avoiding cleaning my house) I found this to be the best. Enjoy!

In the Hills, the Cities...

I am sorry it has been so long since my last post. No, I didn't party THAT hard on Halloween, I've just been busy (lame.) But now that things have calmed down and the Warriors have finally won a game (thank Christ) I can post again. Let me write a little post about a short story that rocked my world- In the Hills, the Cities by my horror crush Clive Barker (yes, I know he is gay. He is a crush!) I am reading the Books of Blood for the first time, and although I love every story so far (especially Midnight Meat Train) this particular story had me screaming "Holy Shit! That was good!" Which sent my husband running into the room. "What is so good?" He asked. "Is it V? (more on that later.) " "No hubby" I said, "this is the best rival rural towns fight each other to the death by strapping themselves together to create giants and pummeling each other story I have ever read!" Then he left the room with a frown on his face and took the cat with him. Seriously, this short is one of the most visually striking stories I have ever read. By that I mean that the picture Barker paints sort of gets imprinted on your psyche. Barker imprinting anything on your psyche is usually not a good thing, but this gory and beautiful story about madness amongst the masses is worth the risk. I hope they never try to film it, because nothing I would see could equal the awesomeness of what I imagined.

I love discovering new (to me) cool shit!! P.S.: I thought about the film The Wicker Man after reading this short. A few similarities although there is no naked gyrating in Barker's story (I know, I was surprised too!)