New Releases

This is an actual book coming out on April 15th. That's near my Mom's birthday, and she loves Jane Austen. Easy Gift! Thanks to the my favorite blog: "The Vault of Horror," for turning me on to this one. http://thevaultofhorror.blogspot.com/

Things I found on the Interweb

Hackers created this road sign in Austin, Texas. It's like a dream come true. Thanks to "Bloody Disgusting for this one. http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/news/15098

I have never seen a better album cover. IN MY LIFE!

Rudy Ray Moore was an actor, producer, and comedian best known for his character "Dolemite." I would have posted a "Dolemite" trailer but it is in even worse taste than this album cover. I just couldn't do it. Easily found on YouTube. Just be prepared to take a shower after.

New Improved Coraline Trailer

This gives a better taste of the "creepiness" of the film. I am so excited to see this! I saw the "3D" trailer when I went to see "My Bloody Valentine." By the way, that stupid movie gave me major nightmares! Non-zombie related ones! In one nightmare, Leatherface was chasing me around my lake house and killed my Grandmother with his telekinetic powers. That's crazy! Everyone knows Leatherface doesn't have telekinetic powers.

Long Live Stains..

Not only is "Stains" an awesome name for a dog, Stains IS A truly awesome dog. This clip had Jonathan and I laughing our asses off. Yao just felt sorry for Stains. After all, who can resist cupcakes?

Obama-ized Yao

I Heart 3-D

Every horror film should be in 3D! Its awesome! Finally a half-way decent horror flick. "My Bloody Valentine" is yet another remake (I am ashamed to admit I have never seen the original. I know, my bad. But it is a Canadian film and despite what my Netfix "Movies for you" feature thinks, I don't love Canadian films. Seriously, it had this whole list of Canadian films it thought I might like. When the fuck did I rent a Canadian film? I must of rented a couple for Netflix to think I was some "Canadaphile" or whatever you call people obsessed with Canada.) Anyway, on its own "My Bloody Valentine" would be a slightly above average slasher flick. But add 3D and it becomes the coolest thing I have seen so far this year! Shit! It is the ONLY thing I have seen this year. I was in love at first kill, when the "Miner" delivers a pick-ax to the back of some teenagers head and the poor sucker's eyeball comes flying out of the screen. Another thing I like about this movie is that the killer sticks with the same weapon the entire film (with the exception of a shovel shoved in the middle of a girl's face, but the killer was improvising because he couldn't find his pick-ax.) He finds "inventive" ways to use his weapon of choice, and you really have to appreciate that. I can't believe I just wrote that.

Another day, another crappy movie..

Finally saw "Mirrors" last night and once again I am glad I didn't waste my money to see it in the theatre. Not that it is bad, its just so-so. Kiefer Sutherland plays an ex-cop who gets a job as a nightwatchmen at a old department store. Turns out something EVIL lurks in the mirrors in the store, and Sutherland starts seeing things and basically losing his shit. The film had one good scene. Amy Smart tears her own face in half. And yes, you do see the whole thing. So if you want to see someone tear their own face in half, I highly recommend "Mirrors."

Obama-rama

We had a great time watching the inauguration last night. Pumpkin and I were "ooh-ing and awe-ing" over the Obama girls, who are just adorable. Sasha giving the thumbs up to Dad was a highlight, and I loved when Malia had Biden take a picture for her. Very cute. The boys laughed every time I clapped for Jimmy Carter. I can't help it, he is the Grandpa I always wished I had. This was the first inauguration I have ever watched and I was fascinated by the rules and rituals of the whole thing. It was all very regimented and old school and very, very cool. I loved that Bush had to get the hell out of there. Part of the whole ceremony.

We didn't watch too much of the Ball stuff (I know, I crack up every time I say or read it.) We did see the first dance. It was beautiful and Beyonce didn't even annoy me that much. Of course, she can't hold a candle to the original.

Crappy Movies

Every horror fan knows that they will have to suffer through a pile of shitty movies before unearthing a single decent one. I have been watching alot of really bad horror lately (Lost Boys 2: The Tribe.) Finally someone has come out with some tips for surviving and even enjoying the crap. Check out http://www.ehow.com/how_2097849_appreciate-bad-horror.html . And yes, Feardotcom is the WORST horror film I have EVER seen. It makes me sick to even post the picture on this blog. Time for a shower.

Happy Belated Birthday!

I got so caught up in volunteering yesterday (not really, I worked and then watched Nip/Tuck, but I would have been out volunteering dammit) that I forgot that it was Edgar Allen Poe's Birthday!

He would have been 200 years old, and not smelling very good!! Happy Birthday Original Gangster!!

By the way, Happy Inauguration Day everyone! Of course I have to work, but it will be an Obama-rama at my house tonight!

Give me my 2 hours back!!

I have made some very bad decisions in my lifetime, but this was one of the worse. Not only did I voluntarily watch this piece of crap, I subjected my husband and my friend to it as well. I can't even repeat the name of the film, it leaves such a bad taste in my mouth. Whats worse, is I actually had it on my Netflix Que. I need a shower.

They are coming!!!!

I guess of all potential Zombie Animals Zombie Kittehs would be among the scariest. If the Orange Menace ever turned into a Zombie I know he would come after my ass first.

Recent Horror Movies..

These are actually old horror movies, but ones I recently watched. Due to the fact that we have HBO free for a week, I finally got to see "The Hills Have Eyes 2," a film with absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever. I even tried to keep my husband from watching it lest it harm him beyond repair. Now I actually "liked" the original remake, and I own it, but the sequel just looked so god awful I didn't even bother. Turns out I was right not to. There is one good scene in the movie. A bunch of National Guard trainees (also known as mutant food) stumble upon an abandoned scientific encampment in the middle of the desert. One of them goes to use the port-a-potty, and as he is sitting down he sees a hand reach up out of the darkness of the port-a-potty hole. Naturally he freaks and runs out of the john with his pants down, getting the attention of his hot, female, way to young and pretty to be in the National Guard companion. They open the door to the port-o-potty and see a man covered in shit and blood climbing out and screaming for help. She screams at her pants less companion "What the Hell was that?" and he replies "I don't know, Shitman the Barbarian?" That is the best scene in the movie, swear to god.

I also saw "The Abandoned" which is a ghost story set in Russia. It was part of the "After Dark Horrorfest" a few years back and it kept popping up on my radar. It's a very good film, with a few scares, a little gore, and a pretty decent fucked up ending. It's an English language, Russian set, Bulgaria shot, Spanish written and directed horror film. I liked that a Spanish guy, Nacho Cerda (best name ever) shot it. He is the director of a short film called "Aftermath," which I have been avoiding for a few years. It is a pure gore fest apparently, and although I hear it is very good, I just can't do a half hour of straight gore. Not my bag.

By the way, the Plague has taken over and I am going back to bed. I fully expect to cough up a lung any minute now. The trick will be stuffing it back in before my cat gets to it.

Sometimes fear is the appropriate response..

Welcome to the post-apocalyptic future. What has Wall-E wrought? Seriously, this looks really exciting, scary, and depressing. What more could you want from an animated flick? Love Tim Burton, love the crazy Russian that did "Wanted," and I love me some post-apocalyptic fiction. Between this film and "The Road," which is finally coming out, 2009 is shaping up to be the year the world ended (on screen anyway.) Of course the world is really going to end in 2012, but there is no harm in being prepared. Speaking of 2012, there is a film called "2012" opening this year, but it looks like a piece of Michael Bay shit. I'm sure it has a happy ending, which I can guarantee the other films (especially "The Road") do not.

Speaking of happy endings, did anyone see Mickey Rourke win the Golden Globe for best actor last night? It was amazing! He used the word "balls" twice in his speech and called the Director's mother a "Bitch!" I love you Mickey Rourke!

This is how you do a Remake..

There really is nothing new under the sun. But this looks movie ticket worthy. I love the use of "Sweet Child of Mine" and the promise of death by microwave. The fact that Wes Craven is directly involved in it helps. It just doesn't look as "dirty" as the original. And I like my horror films dirty, dammit.

Things are about to get freaky!!!

My wonderful husband ordered me "The Dunwich Horror" soundtrack for Christmas and it just arrived!!! All I need is some acid and strobe lights to recreate the movie!! I am super excited since this is the first Les Baxter CD I will own. I may start a Les Baxter fan club, you know with all my free time..

He also got me "An Evening with Boris Karloff and his Friends." His friends, of course, are Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster, the Wolfman, and the Mummy!! From what I can tell (I haven't listened to it yet) it is excerpts from the movies, bits of music, and Boris Karloff narrating the whole thing. Shit, I would listen to Boris Karloff narrate an issue of the "Watchtower" if I had to. He is the coolest cat around.

In other news, I may have the plague again. I am fighting it, but considering I take medication that suppresses my immune system, I may not have a ghost of a chance. So expect more fascinating and riveting blog posts! I am sick suckers!

I love you George A Romero

The focus and passion of this man's life is Zombies.. Another low-budget kick ass Zombie opus is on its way from George A Romero. Life is good.

Good Morning Ricky!

We watched a documentary on Cuban music last night. They didn't show any Desi Arnaz, but he was mentioned. So I thought I would wake up with a little Babba-lou or whatever the hell it is. I have fond memories of "I Love Lucy" and when I was a little girl I thought I would hang out at places like the "Tropicana" watching conga players and dancing the mambo. I thought that is what adults did! Actually, I have spent some time watching conga players! I just don't have the mambo part down yet.

Every Night at my House..

This is the scene every night at my house.

Spooky stories for cold winter evenings..

I am currently reading Locke & Key: Welcome to Lovecraft, a graphic novel by Joe Hill and Gabriel Rodriguez. I am not a huge fan of comics, like my husband is, but this one is so good and scary I can't put it down. Jonathan already read it, which is funny, because he is not a huge fan of horror. In some ways this book reminds me of Coraline, except with gore. It is a perfect book for the month of January, a month for ghosts and demons..
By the way, I didn't make any resolutions. Honestly I didn't even think about it until last night at around 10pm. And by then it was too late. I had already broken any that I might have made. Better luck next year!

Thank you Chuck!

We had such a great time at George Clinton last night! Seeing Parliament is almost like a religious experience. It is so much fun you actually get tears in your eyes (that could be from the weed though..) We didn't get home till 5am so I actually just woke up. Our buddy Steve took a bunch of great pictures and video and hopefully I will be able to post that soon...

In other news, one of my favorite human beings on Earth, Charles Barkley, got busted for a DUI in Arizona. Stupid as hell, I know. Luckily he just ran a stop sign and didn't hurt anyone. The best part is what he said to the cops. He said he was in such a hurry because he had to get around the corner for a blow job. He said this gal was waiting for him and had given him the best blow job of his life...

Then, while at the station, he said to one of the cops that if he helped him out of this DUI he would tattoo his name on his ass! Rather than pissing the cops off they said that Barkley was "respectful" and followed orders. You know they love him! Can't wait till reporters track down this girl..

Thank you Chuck for kicking off 2009! Can't wait to see you on Inside the NBA next Thursday! Happy New Year!